Wild Bulbasa----DOCTOROCTOGONAPUS BLAAARGGH. You became good at SPORTS! Like running, football, arsen, weddings, and arts! What do?
*eats the grapefruit and spits out seeds which turn into small, yellow ninjas, which in turn devour the cereal and spit out more grapefruits for me to eat* Phew!
The cannon is filled with rubber balls, red and green paint, blueberries, and cake batter. Have fun cleaning it up. I'm getting my story published!
I convince him to eliminate entropy from the universe. (Science goes crazy trying to figure out what in the name of balls just happened) Learning how to speak a new language.