I find the diamond floating down in front of my house, take it, and put it into a pretteh necklace. I then continue to wear it, BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL PRETTY.
I ask you if this cloth smells like chloroform. It does. I then take the diamond off your necklace. I place it in an unsolvable maze in a house of mirrors.
I drug him in his sleep and pull it out. (Don't bug me about Chuck Norris jokes, I hate Chuck Norris jokes :/) I proceed to hide the diamond in a metal box.
I use a magnet and the diamond is mine! U mad? I then put the diamond in a nuclear weapon. The weapon is then put in a stockpile.
I use SWALLOW. Recovered HP. Stockpile = 0. Diamond in belly. Still wondering how people got in my house, and how magnets would work on diamonds.
The diamond was in a metal box. I have one thing to say..... HEIMLICH! The diamond is mine! I place it in a mine.
With the help of a axe (made of diamond, weirdly enough) and a couple of creeper explosions, I Minecraft my way into your mine and swipe it. I put the diamond in a museum, like Indiana Jones requested it.
I spenda century training in the arts of a ninja and steal your diamond without you knowing it was stolen. I then hide the diamond with my fellow ninjas in the ninja hideout of ninja.
I cause the battle of the centenary to happen between pirates and ninjas, during the blood shred I steal the diamond and make it part of the crown jewels so it is forever guards
I become phone and threaten Slenderman, who promptly retrieves the diamond and abducts a few several thousand children. I keep the diamond under my tongue.
dude? what? I kick you in the face, causing the diamond to fly out of your mouth and down a drain, from here it sinks into the bottomless pit of ...waste
"then who was phone?" = meme Slenderman = meme Recovering from a face-kick, I hire trained professionals to retrieve the diamond. Of the forty sent in, only one survives. After I retrieve the diamond, I pay him the share he was promised, which was about 0.23$. I then hide it in the sky.
Gravity kicks in. I pull the diamond out of your hand. I hide the diamond in an industrial dishwasher. That thing is nasty!
I put on rubber gloves, grab the diamond, then leave the gloves on the door to your house. I put the diamond in a cake at Sugarcube Corner and let Pinkie Pie devour it.
I retrieve the diamond and leave a plate of pink Cupcakes with balloon decorations on your doorstep. Spoiler: What are the Cupcakes made of? Flour, sugar, you know, the usual. But I had you thinking the worst! Pinkie Pie then helps me hide it in the Everfree Forest.
I, with the help of Fluttershy, recruit woodland creatures to find and retrieve the diamond. I then put the diamond in a box, put that box in another box, gift wrap the box and wrap it in chains, mail it to myself, then when it gets to me, I SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!! I then take the flattened package and slip it under the Rock of Gibraltar.
I get the help of an imperious llama and a peasant to help me get it. I then take the diamond and put in a pile of nearly identical diamonds.
