Corrupt Wishes

Granted: but it becomes a mix of trigonometry geography and nonsense
I wish to be loved and respected

 

Granted, you become loved and respected by all manner of eldritch abominations.

I wish for inspiration.

 

Granted: you insperation is nude things. Haha
I wish I could never die

 

Granted, becomes paralized from the head down so you literally can't do anything for eternity

I wish for CS:GO

 

Granted: the download makes it to 99% then it stops.

I wish for magic

 

Granted. You get magic...:The gathering cards. Specifically only lands.

I wish for more shipfics.

 

Granted, but it's your least favorite possible pair and the relationship plot is terrible.

I wish it was Spring.

 

Granted, but it's spring on the other side of the world.

I wish for the poster below me to be shipped with the poster above me.

 

Granted. Our relationship is a mutually abusive one which drives us both to suicide. And the sex wasn't that good either.

I wish Cyanside would be MY love slave. Whatever the hell that means.

 

Granted. But you die because its impossible for cyan to be a love slave.
I wish my belly didn't hurt

 

Granted. You no longer have a belly and you die of starvation

I wish I had a portal gun

 

Granted: you shot a portal in the air then one on the ground you jump into one and pop up in a volcano.
Wish more people were on.

 

granted: but all of them are anti-bronies

i wish that final exams didnt exist

 

Granted. They are all replaced by ridiculously huge fees.

I wish I had the patience to finish Diablo II.

 

Granted, but Diablo 2 isn't as good as you hope. (Which is mostly a lie, cause basically everyone likes it).

I wish for everyone successes.

 

Granted. Successes are so commonplace now that they are basically meaningless, and the value of a human being is measured in ***** length.

I wish I had a V-22 Osprey.

 

Granted: you get a 24" model of a v-22 osprey

I wish I owned Apple Inc.

 

Granted. You are now the target of more than 47 assassination attempts per day by rabid Microsoft fanboys. Why can't we all just get along... *sigh*

I wish it was socially acceptable to swear in any situation.

 

Granted. You can never remember to actually say any.




I wish for the ability to detect a fart three seconds before one happens.

 

Granted but you in those 3 seconds you are forced to move closer to the source of the fart

I wish that Snipers and shotguns in COD didnt exist