Corrupt Wishes

Granted. You end up turning into anthro Tom.

I wish for a cold bottle of hard cider.

 

Granted... It's a basketball full of chili you can't get to... Have fun with that...

I wish for a chocolate bird.

 

You get a bird. In fact you get two birds. Three Birds. The birds just keep coming. It is the chocolate apocalypse of bird. You are crushed under the weight of their cocoa-filled goodness. The birds keep coming. Eventually, the earth can not contain all the birds, and begins to destabilize it's orbit because of the massive tumor that is the pile of birds. And yet, at it's center, you live. Intact and under immense pain. You still want more bird. Even as the earth tumbles in to the sun, unable to sustain it's orbit, you still sing the song of the birds, calling more to their fiery death at the heart of a star.

I wish, I wish,
To be a fish.

 

Granted, you are made into sushi.

I wish for a copy of "the birds" the book.

 

Granted, it overflows and gets all over you.

I wish I didn't hate the taste of beer.

 

Granted, you know have amnesia.

I wish cats fell from the sky

 

Granted. A lion falls on you, killing you instantly.

I wish I could have a pet potato.

 

Granted the potato watches you live your life without rotting. It develops deep feelings for you and eventually loves you. A museum collector offers you 5million dollars for it. You decide not to sell it and continue to live with it. It was a very peaceful life but then then the fire nation attacked... and made french fries out of it... its last thoughts were only of you. Unable to talk or express itself you never came to understand the love the potato had for you.

I wish the ground could talk.

 

Granted, it screams in agony all the time

I wish for more cake

 

Granted, You get more and more cake until eventually you become the cake and I consume you.

I wish I could multiply

 

Granted. You are an amoeba.

I wish for a plate of hot wings.

 

*granted, the wings are so hot they melt the plate and table.

I wish I could hug everyone without getting in trouble.

Example: strangers on the street.

 

Granted. You hug somebody with a deadly contagious disease an get infected.

I wish I could talk to animals.

 

granted, but they don't talk back.

I wish I had eaten my breakfast.

 

Granted... They all have S's instead of M's.

I wish... For EXACTLY 3, 4X3 inch, 2 inch tall, slices of good tasting apple pie, which will not make me sick when I eat them and cannot be eaten by someone else.