Granted. You waste away in a corner and are forgotten by your friends, enemies, and family. Stress free since there is no one to bother you. I wish I was bug proof.
Granted. Spiders swarm onto you, trap you in webbing and suck you dry. Spiders are arachnids, not bugs(insects). I wish I was immune to poison.
Granted, but you aren't immune to venom and you are bitten by teleporting snakes periodically. It might be a dry bite, but you never know..... I wish for a new wallet.
Granted. There are holes in it. (No, I'm not feeling very creative today.) I wish I were more creative.
Granted. Now you can't forget ANYTHING! you see. I wish that I could hear one of Edvard Grieg's songs played live by a professional orchestra.
Granted, now that you are derpy, your mind and memorie as gone (I mean you dont remember anything of you and your life) XD I wish I can play the electric guitar like Mettalica