Depression

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by LostAgain, Nov 21, 2011.

  1. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    For all who post here: Thank you. However, My computer is wrecked, so I haven't seen the show in a while. I thought being a brony was an insult. I was way off. And those of you who call me brave for showing my friends are also way off. The friends I showed were already in the denial phase, I merely pushed them onward. I was not at all a major influence, so don't credit me for anything. I felt I was alone in the cold, but I was surrounded by a community who faced similar ridicule. It is without a doubt the most lively fan community I've ever met.
    You'll be remembered, and I will not.
    LostAgain
    I'm lost forever, comrades.
     
  2. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    Well, depression's back. I am beginning to feel that empty feeling again, but much less. I don't know if I should keep watching the show, if it is the cause. However, my love for the show remains, but the power of love is insufficient to self-respect. Maybe I should attempt to turn the situation around by saying I'm cool enough to e a brony, but I don't really think I am, not when I take discomfort in watching it. Well, hopefully my love for the show will prevail, and I'll move into bronyhood. In the meantime, better reference Skyrim.
    "Help me dear princess, for the unworthy must be baptized in friendship and love."
    -The Rainbow Sacrament
    Cookie to whoever gets it.
     
  3. Rashall

    Rashall Master of the Veil Fire

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    What in the name of Sigmar can any of us here on the forum do for you. We are all here for a reason, to help each other through things like this.
     
  4. The Stare Master

    The Stare Master A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    ^ This

    We all want to help you Lost, the only problem is that you are not giving us much to go on. Maybe your problem is that you don't see what is REALLY going on here. Every single post on your "Depression" Thread has been positive and helpful. I don't want to sound harsh, and please don't take it that way, but be proud! Be strong! And open your eyes to all the help and care we are offering!
     
  5. greyOne

    greyOne Princess of the Forum
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    Thanks for the cookie,
    Your a nice person!
    *Offers Lost a hug*

    (Staying positive, get!)
     
  6. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    I am very thankful of any and all help I obtained on this thread, but the reason I couldn't describe my feelings is due to the fact I was not feeling depressed. I am slowly becoming positive, and quickly becoming happier. And now, the reason. The #1 thing the average people want is a feeling of importance, and, thanks to you guys, I have that feeling. I am very happy to be a part of this, and, if there was anything I could do in return, let me
    know. Back to depression, here's what it feels like:
    1. I decide to watch FiM
    2. I feel a slightly sickly feeling
    3. I suddenly feel empty, sad
    4. I am enveloped in sadness, but still I watch
    5. The episode ends (usually) and I feel better.
    Is it just worry or something?
    Note: At first, this was extremely intense, so much I would lay down and just stare blankly afterwards, for hours. However, due to positive support, it just barely noticeable. However, it is there, and it seems to have a
    more powerful effect if I watch the show in bulk. I also find that I'm very angry/grouchy if interrupted in the middle of an episode. I am, however, completely fine later, and when I say I "feel" better, I mean I only feel
    better, although I'm not better. I noticed I suddenly feel sad, then it's over, as if I'm letting off steam, so to speak. I also find myself in odd dreams, where I am wondering, and suddenly, I collapse, or where I am talking to my worst nightmare, and he kills me, or if I am in Equestria, strangely empty, when suddenly, I fall into a void. Some dreams are just strange, such as I am an assassin, and suddenly, I find myself in an empty room, with my worst nightmare on the other side. My nightmare haunts me, and I seem to see him every night. Perhaps I shall share who this is in the future, but, as for some of these, I awake cold, shaken, and tired. I hope I am not going insane, but I seriously think my dreams are haunted by this evil. Well, I guess it's sort of my fault, again, I shall explain later. In the meantime, just focus on my depression.
    Thanks for all the help, you guys really could have stopped after you introduced yourselves.
    May my mysterious nightmares be solved,
    LostAgain
     
  7. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    And for those who say my eyes are closed, they are. I apologize for my stubborn attitude, but every night I am haunted by a mysterious being, and I am dreadfully terrified. I find it hard to concentrate, and hard to focus on the task at hand. I will attempt to be more open, and be more accepting. And also, I am slightly embaressed to say this, but one thing surprised me. When I first started here, I had little expectation, and little hope. I was
    sorrowful, angry, and just plain confused. The moment I got my first replies, my brain went:
    "Wait a minute, these guys are human."
    No offense intended at all, but I literally expect either shunning, ignorance of my existence, etc. But then I realized, there are people who are just like me, who are human. This surprised me somehow, but really, what was expecting anyway, robots?
    Thank you, you'll be rewarded somehow, if karma is as nice to you as it is mean to me,
    LostAgain.
    Come find me, my friends.
     
  8. Dragonbait

    Dragonbait Do you like bananas?
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    Continue with the positive thoughts. I think I'm probably one of the older bronies here and trust me, things do get better. Looking back, my younger days were a very confusing time. Take comfort in knowing that you have found something that you like and that it makes you happy.

    It's hard to put into words, but let the things that grind on your happiness become superficial, later on they will mean nothing. Since you enjoy this wonderful pastime with the rest of us, look for us, find people who you can share this with. Do not dwell on those that try to bring you down for what you like. There are more than enough people who will support you and help you, especially in this day and age!

    Ask for help and you will find it! If all you find near you is unhelpful, then bypass them and find those of us who can and will be positive to you. I have found that those that try to hold me back and belittle me are not worth my time.

    All my best and hopes for your future happiness,
    - Dragonbait
     
  9. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    I find it slightly saddening that there is literally all I can do it thanks you, and I cannot repay your help. Should there be anything that comes up that is solvable from my computer, let me know, I find myself to be quite willing in sorts of things, big and small.
     
  10. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    well, those last few typos sure made me feel stupid :|. Oh, and I don't smile unless absolutely nessesary in the current situation, thus no smile emote.
     
  11. Crestfallen Meerkat

    Crestfallen Meerkat Practically Part of the Site Itself

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    I agree with Sunburn.

    I just think you need to think about it differently.
    You are you, and there's nothing you can do to change that. And why should you? You're great!
    You shouldn't let anyone judge you for what you like, especially let you judge yourself about your interests!
    You can like whatever the HELL you want to like, and there's nothing you should have to do about it.
    Besides, if anyone does look down on you for liking MLP, they're not your real friends anyway. They don't deserve your friendship. Your real friends will love you no matter what you like because they like you for YOU. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to change something about yourself just so certain people will like you.

    Besides, there are OCEANS full of reasons to like this show. There is no reason you should be ashamed of it. It's a great show!
    And it's not like you're alone in liking it. Obviously, just look at all of us! ^^
     
  12. greyOne

    greyOne Princess of the Forum
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    Yes, typos are a nuisance,
    Fortunately, there's an edit button post button.

    I also had auto correct running up till
    A couple of minutes ago, But it's been annoying as hell.
    (I want to type LostAgain, not Lasagna).

    Anywho;
    Best advice to stick to; stay positive.
    After all, there's a bunch of people here trying to help you.
    Why?
    Simply because we care.
     
  13. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    All of you speak of people who are accepting and kind, and you are talking about yourselves. Smile, for you are an important part of this place. But I am at a place where people hate you for being there, for having personal interests, for being different. Where I am, people like you for your uses. I can answer questions fluently, so I am a speaker for multiple factions. I am good at science, so I give answers to my "friends". I am 5' 10", so
    people use me to scare away bullies. Are these people my friends? No, they are not. I don't have friends, only people who seek my unusual size and talent. Can y'all say you haven't been used? Well, I am only used, not
    taken as a friend. Sure I am invited to parties, but this is more a payment than a friendly good deed. Yet you claim life is good, so maybe I should keep looking.
     
  14. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    My friends,
    A few days ago was a sad day for me. That was the day my one true friend suddenly turned to hate. He wouldn't talk to me, listen to me, or do anything around me. I was deeply confused, and so I asked one of my aquantences to ask him the problem. He told me that I was, and a quote,"A littering *squee!* who can burn in hell".
    Where the HELL did that come from?! I'm talking about my closest friend, the one who truly likes you for who your are, and yet, he randomly hated me. And another thing, I don't litter. I hate litter. I help with service projects to clean the stuff up. Can any of you explain where this random rant came from, and why it was sustained such a long time? He really is pissed off.
     
  15. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    Well, it turns out I performed the Rainbow Sacrament wrong. It's actually:
    "Dear Princess, Dear Princess, send your student unto me, for the unworthy must be baptized in friendship and love."
    And then Twilight Sparkle came, just after Pinky Pie performed the Rainbow Sacrament.
     
  16. Rashall

    Rashall Master of the Veil Fire

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    You have friends here on the site that are trying to make you feel better.

    We are here to help you down your path, no matter where it may lead we will always be here. Together demons shall fall before us.
     
  17. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    Well, I thank you all (again), and I bid thee good day. This will most likely be my last post here, so may you all move on to greener pastures. Thanks, maybe this won't be the end of this. But it probably is.
    I leave you with this.
    Life's greatest illusion:
    innocence. Don't tell me I'm a nice, good person, because you couldn't be more wrong. I am not someone you want as a friend, I am hated and feared. Soon, I shall be more hated, until finally, I am gone.
    May you all live long, happy lives.
    LostAgain
    The Dark Bronyhood is here, my friends.
     
  18. greyOne

    greyOne Princess of the Forum
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    No you're not a nice happy person.
    You're a somewhat confused person
    Who could be nice, but is standing in their own way.
    If you are hated,
    Then why do I not hate you?
    Why do I feel sympathy for you;
    Empathize your suffering?
    You will not be forgotten LostAgain.
    No matter how hard you try,
    We're here, We care, We remember you.

    You can always be a better person.
    No matter how good you already are.
    I hope you can come to terms with that.
    Change is swift.
    It comes on fleeting wings,
    When you least expect it to matter.

    You are not forgotten LostAgain,
    You've just forgotten who you are.
     
  19. LostAgain

    LostAgain A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    You are a poet, and I'm very happy you help me. Your post is nothing short of poetry, and let me tell you this:
    When silence rises, the world stops.
    There is no production, and all stops.
    This silence was broken here, and it is to stay broken.
    But this is not my home, nor my tomb or church.
    This is not my haven.
    Let you all be content, and say goodbye to me.
    Or maybe this is not goodbye,
    maybe a brief silence.
    Maybe a time to think,
    a time to stop and breath.
    I am not dead,
    thus there is a chance I shall return.
    I have not forgotten who I am,
    I have forgotten where I belong.
    Change may be swift for most,
    but not here, not to me.
    I am not lucky,
    I am a sad soul of Earth,
    and may you all be pleased:
    I am lost- but not forever- and gone-but not for good.
     
  20. The Stare Master

    The Stare Master A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    Nice! Now all you need is a sweet pony avatar... And maybe change your location? O_O
     

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