"So, I just pull the handle and... Oh crap. Well, at least I a reserve chute! Let's see... pull the main chute cutaway handle... done. Now, I just open the reserve chute, and... Oh no. Open! Open! Please, for the love of God, OPEN!!! OH S**T OH S**T OH S**T THE GROUND IS COMING FAST AND I DON'T WANT TO..."