Improved wishes

Granted, you also fight alongside Rainbow Dash and Goku.

I wish I had a real lightsaber.

Sent from my pet rock using a Toyota

 

Granted: No every Sith everywhere will attack you for being a Jedi Master.

I wish for cuteness to never end.

 

Granted. The cuteness shall last forever

I wish to be a badass

 

Granted. Your ass isn't just bad, it's positively the worst. You're even more badass than if Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, Liam Neeson and Mr. T formed Voltron.

I wish I had some pretty flowers.

 

Granted; they're daffodils, and you make a fortune waxing lyrical about them.

I wish I had a fortune of wax.

 

Granted; the plushies are sentient, but still cute.

I wish I was a Tudor king.

 

Granted, and what a king you where. The Pope gets upset with you divorcing your own wives and you end up making your own religion after flipping him off, causing the greatest religious schism in Western History.

I wish I was the Prime Minister of Australia, instead of that idiot currently humiliating our country.

 

Granted; you are elected without needing any form of coalition, you're just that popular.

I with I had a pool table.

 

Granted; the lair is so evil, it doesn't even let you in.

I wish I was the Robot Devil.

 

Granted, You are proclaimed the harbinger of doom for all not only humanity but for Robot-kind as well.

I wish to go to a Furry Convention.

 

Granted; there is no judgement.

I wish I was a judge. But like a really cool one. I wish I was Judge Dredd.

 

Granted, you become the law!

I wish I could be Chuck Norris's apprentice.

Sent from my pet rock using a Toyota

 

You become Chuck Norris with twice the power, skill and looks.

I yearn to become the ultimate omnipotent being that controls time and space that has lasers coming out of my eyes and looks like mid-seventies David Bowie.

 

Granted; you fire different coloured lasers out of your heterochromatic eyes.

I wish I owned a pub.

 

Granted; you know own multiple Pubs that sell almost all liqueur known to man

I wish I owned my own Island covered in bird manure that I can sell to make profit.

 

Granted; Mucho guano for you!

I wish it was still legal to shoot Scotsmen with a longbow on Sundays.

 

Granred. Actually, here, take my bow. *gives him a longbow*

I wish I hade a breakfast made by Princess Luna herself.