Fortunately, from our original timeline, we brought: Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf! As the epic battle begins, we make our escape. Suddenly, we are face to face with the Rabbit of Caerbannog!
Thankfully, we have the holy hand grenade of antioch! when we go through the next door, we suddenly find ourselves banished to the moon!
We hitch a ride home with Buzz Aldrin. Upon our return, we encounter the dreaded floating shopping list!
Revival, wooo! By shopping at Walmart, we cut our prices in half! Thanks Walmart! But since we just got back from the moon, we need to find transportation to the bank!
we find a cat-bus, of all things, and it takes us there but when we reach it, we find that super-powered beings are fighting all around it!
They do not concern us. The bank is the objective, not them. As we enter the front doors, we discover that everyone is exercising their second amendment rights!
Exercise our Second Amendment rights in kind, while demonstrating the proper use of firearms... on them. Now that the occupants of the bank are taken care of, how will we open the vault?!
With the secret vault door code, of course! Unfortunately, we seem to have murdered the only guy who knew the door code.
Don't worry, we're packing enough ordinance to blow the door right off the hinges! ... But we're packing it in the size of fire crackers.
After several hours of twisting fuses together, we have enough M-80s taped to the vault door to blast it wide open... Unfortunately, somebody forget to bring the matches.
Ah, time to use the ancient method of "rub two sticks together." However, once the door is blown open, we see that inside the vault are a bunch of security lasers.
Don't worry! I'll hack the mainframe and shut off the security systems! Whoops, accidentally tripped a network fire wall. A large robot materializes himself out of the access point, and starts attacking.
Move aside, Hackerman, I got this *squee!*. The smoldering remains of the security robot are filling the room with toxic smoke.
The smoke triggers the CO2 detectors, and as we safely evacuate the vault, the fire men come in. Problem is, due to budget cuts the city has consolidated the fire and police departments, creating a hyper effective super department of fire fighting police.
And you're worried about this... why? Didn't you forget how we bribed them? Once the fire/police department leaves, the lasers are still up.
What kind of idiot leaves his security lasers plugged in OUTSIDE the safe? Honestly, that was just poor design. The loot is in sight... when suddenly, for no apparent reason, a flying saucer blasts away the roof of the bank and abducts the money, then disappears into outer space!
Buckle up boys, we're going to space. SpaceX has had a scientific breakthrough and is ready to send people to Mars as soon as a month from now. ..Buuuut the waiting list is very long, and millions of people have already signed up.
After we "leak" to the media that the Kardashian clan had been chosen for the Martian colony, everyone else backs out. We have a ship, but the Kardashians have to decided to come along after all!
We COULD vent them out the airlock. We did it, but when Kylie somehow caused a fuel leak after we vented her.
Space duct tape! It's like regular duct tape, but for space stuff! Hey, would you look at that? It's a small moon.
