He dropped Ida's hand, looking down at the bedsheets silently. "She can't... she can't see me like this."
Ida rubbed August's back before heading for the door. "I'll leave you two alone." The door closed behind her, and August was completely silent, his brows furrowed.
His voice was caught in his throat. "Why'd... why'd you leave me? Why did you... why did you have to go? What did I do wrong?"
She sat on the edge of bed, sighing heavily. "It was never your fault, August.. That night Eli found us.. He made me realize that I just hurting you two.. I caused nothing but trouble and I was selfish for trying anything. I felt like you would have been better off without me."
"Eli tried to explain it to me," he said miserably, lying back in the pillows. "But I'm not a very smart man, and I couldn't figure it out. I just didn't love you enough? Is that what happened?"
"I didn't mind that you were unaware of how love worked. I loved you, August. I was perfectly fine with how you felt back. I just.. felt guilty. I felt like I was screwing everything up."
He shuddered, turning his head into the pillow. "I'm so monstrous, Aspen," he said miserably. "I'm scarred and blind and they say I need to eat more because I'm killing myself. I don't believe you when you say you were afraid. I just don't believe you."
She felt her heart sink seeing him like this. She moved closer, resting her head on his arm soothingly. "Oh, Aug.. I never left because of you.."
He was silent again, but she would see tears flowing down his cheeks. He scrubbed them away almost angrily, not saying anything.
He didn't respond for a moment. "You were selfish by leaving, then," he said eventually, turning on his back again.
She frowned, looking down. "I could never win. Whatever I did ended up hurting someone. I was selfish to even love you."
He fell silent again for a moment before sighing. "I know I'm terrible," he began quietly, "and I know I'm really upset with you right now, but... can I hug you?"
