"I told you," she explained again, "the longer I'm with him the more it's going to hurt if he says no."
She exhaled, looking thoughtful as she leaned back into the couch. "Ferris... Ferris is a little broken, Fleur," she said slowly. "Our parents died when I was about seven and he was 12, and he's the one had to take care of us. He's the one who had to figure out how to support us, he's the one who had to try to look for work and he sacrificed... he sacrificed so much. I guess he's still sacrificing..."
She looked thoughtful, sitting up. "You know, I don't want him to sacrifice himself in this relationship because he thinks his status will hurt me." She offered her hand to help her up. "Do you want to help me find him?"
"I can't change his mind on decisions," she said, "but I want him to realize that he shouldn't sacrifice himself in our relationship for my sake."
She hesitated, looking a little uncertain. "I'm sure that's probably on his mind," she said gently, crossing her arms. "But I also think that Ferris... I think Ferris kind of likes that sacrifice, Fleur, or at the very least, I think he thinks it's something he has to do. You have to be very careful about how you approach this."
"I think I need to stop going to school," she said, her voice quiet. "I think Ferris needs to be able to live a normal life for once before you two become permanent."
"He has this idea in his head, I think," Alyssa said slowly. "And you can't tell him I said this because he'll reject it. But I think he has come to value himself based on how much grand sacrifice he does for others. Romero kinda... kinda poisoned him that way. I never got punished; Ferris did. Ferris took on all my consequences for me. Even now, right? I could have gone to a cheaper school and he could have lived comfortably, but he sent me to the best school in the country instead and was incredibly poor, from the sounds of things." She hesitated before looking up at Fleur. "So, if you have a person like that, can you imagine what they'd think of themselves if their most important relationship is sacrificing themselves on their behalf? Like... he doesn't have any money, and you have quite a lot, from the looks of things. You're paying for him to stay with you, you're paying for you and him to dine out... That kind of thing doesn't work for someone like Ferris. It's... it's a pride thing. He feels like *squee!* about himself if he lets you do that, but if he's with you, he doesn't really have a choice."
"I don't think that's necessarily true," Alyssa said encouragingly. "I just... I think he needs to take care of himself for a while, you know? I'll find a job in the area and support my own schooling. I'll figure something out. He just needs to focus on being able to support himself and himself only."
She was quiet, still seeming disheartened; maybe at the thought that she had inadvertently done him wrong. She cleared her throat with a frown. "We should still go find him, but.. maybe you should talk to him instead."
Alyssa looked confused, folding her hands in her lap and tilting her head. "Do you not want to talk to him?"
"Well, I think you would explain better," she admitted. "That and I might start crying.. I don't have the best control over my emotions."
