She was staring at him, and clenched her fists anxiously. "Work? What have you been doing? What aren't you telling?"
He was watching her, looking a little stricken. "I... I tried to make it work with the bookstore, Fleur. I really did. But I wasn't... I wasn't earning enough and..." He fell silent.
"And... and I went back to what I knew worked," he said, approaching her and taking her hands. "I couldn't lose you, Fleur, and the end of the month was approaching and things were just as bad as they started, a-and I wanted to make you proud, but I couldn't do it without doing what I've always done."
She pulled her hands away quickly, clearly pretty upset. "Oh, okay. So you just.. have been doing all this behind my back without telling me. Regularly doing dangerous work." She laughed slightly, but it was sarcastic and almost sounded as if she were going to cry. "So that's why I could never see where you worked."
He shook his head, watching her intently, his brow furrowing. "No. I... God, Fleur, of course I wanted to tell you, but... You wanted me to be doing something normal and I tried. I'm not lying when I say that. I tried. I just... I didn't want you to be ashamed of me. A-and I'm not working with Romero. I've done my own thing here."
"Still," she said flatly, looking hurt and a bit betrayed, "you didn't think that you could tell me about it? Like I'd judge you or something? After everything that we have discussed still couldn't talk to me?"
His brow furrowed and he folded his arms defensively, studying her. "I knew that you'd see it as a bad thing, Fleur," he said quietly. "Even if I was good at it, I knew you wouldn't like it, and I knew that you weren't afraid of doing an ultimatum, and I just... I panicked." He shook his head, studying her. "I'm still me, Fleur."
"I don't like it," she agreed, swiping at her eyes hastily, "because I am afraid of something happening to you. But I also don't like ultimatums. I don't want this relationship to be up in the air. I.." she seemed unsure of what else to say. "God, I just want it to be something I know will stay, but it can't if you're not going to let it." Her voice broke at the end and she started for the door. "I'm going back to my apartment."
He followed her, running his hand through his air. "You can't go," he said desperately. "It's the middle of the night. Just... stay and we can talk this out."
"You had so many opportunities to explain your situation," she said roughly as she went down the stairs. "I always try to be understanding of your decisions." She shuddered as she wiped her eyes again. "And this is how I find out. God knows how long it would have continued."
"I got frightened, Fleur," he said, catching her hand as he followed her. "I knew that time was running out and I knew that this was something that worked. You try to be understanding and I appreciate it. Really. But even your empathetic and benevolent heart could never understand what it's like to live like this."
She pulled away from him again. "Don't touch me right now," she said quietly, shaking her head tiredly. "Just.. Do what you want to do Ferris. I'm going."
"I get that you're worried, and all, but I can just call a cab. I don't really want company right now."
"Then I'll wait outside with you," he said flatly. "I won't talk to you - clearly, you can't understand this - but I'm not going to have you wait in the street alone in the middle of the night."
Her expression only hardened, and she shook her head slowly. She started towards the door after putting on her shoes. "Wow. Yeah, clearly I can't understand."
He shook his head, looking down at the floor as he followed her. "What would you have done, Fleur?" he asked, his voice harsh but hushed. "If you were me?"
She brought out her phone as she called for a cab, her arms crossed. "Tell the truth, for starters. When have I ever lied to you, Ferris?"
"Never, Fleur," he replied icily. "You've never had to because the pathways that you have available are safe. They're beautiful and perfect and that's wonderful. That's wonderful for you. I want the best world for you and it's great that you can live there, but I can’t. Okay? I can’t.” His gaze hardened and he shook his head. “I can’t live in the world that you have. Don’t you dare judge me. I was terrified to tell the girl with wings who dances on beautiful stages that I am a criminal and I will always be a criminal. I was terrified and I’m still terrified.”
