It was Stephen Moffat! Without warning or provocation, he began pointing his pen at random people and ponies, screaming "You die! And you die! You die twice! You die and get resurrected as a pineapple!"
He was quickly joined by Andrew Hussie! The famous webcomic creator picked up Moffat, stabbed him, then threw his corpse at the Doctor. "I am the HUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!!!!!" He yelled as he charged at several ponies, killing each of them in an odd way, starting with Twilight, who was killed by an airless bubble appearing around her head and suffocating her. As we all know, when the Huss is around, everyone will die. At least 5 times.
Andrew Hussie appeared to be having a great time killing beloved characters for no reason, until he got to Ozzy. The Prince of Darkness let out a battle-cry that sounded like "SHAROOOOOOOOON!!!" and bit Hussie's head off.
(I am dying of laughter) And with that, the dimensional portal started closing, sucking in the Tardis, the various corpses, and Ozzy. As they vanished through the portal, the army of Pinkies arrived, and threw all the brown M&Ms they collected through it, cheering Ozzy's name (except the one that was barking, of course) The portal finally closed, leaving behind the Doctor, Fluffle Puff, Chrysalis, all the ponies, and the rock.
The only corpse that was left behind was that of Twilight; her limp purple body trapped in the bubble which had now engulfed her completely. With tears in her eyes, Applejack began bucking the bubble repeatedly. It did not break. Ozzy walked up and placed his hand on AJ's head. "Don't worry, little donkey. We'll get her the f*** out of there."
The Doctor quick on the uptake of the situation used his sonic to analyze the bubble. He found a weak point. He whispered something to Ozzy who then once again gave a battle cry that sounded very similar to "Sharoooooon!" He bit into the bubble which popped and air returned to the purple pony's lungs. The Doctor laughed, "There we are! It was just a bubble after all."
"No. No. No. Popping the bubble ruins the deeper meaning, man. Like see, Twilight is supposed to represent our honor, and the bubble is-" The blogger was quickly killed as Hussie reappeared and stabbed him. "Stupid fans. I clearly chose the bubble because she isn't an airhead. Therefore no-air head. It'll also be referenced 3 pages, 8 pages, 4 chapters, and in my next comic at least 35 times."
Suddenly god came down and killed everyone in the stadium but the doctor. And there was (some) rejoicing.
Furious, Lucifer the Great Enlightener appeared and kicked God right in his Almighty ass. The kick sent God flying back to Heaven, and out of the story. Lucifer then revived everybody, and gave them all free candy and booze.
Due to messing with the story by adding candy and booze, the author gets enraged and tears up the paper used to write the story.
Instead of rewriting the story, he begins to draw his favorite character from Adventure Time; Marceline the vampire queen!
However, he makes a mistake and is forever shamed for making ONE LINE 0.000000000000000453254231423 micrometers too short... He kills himself, and a new, not-as-mediocre author takes his place.
The new author collects the pieces of the torn up story, tapes it together, types it up and continues it from where it was left off, because it was actually pretty awesome.
And so, all the boozed-up people got drunk and collectively passed out. (The end, I guess...) The author stands up from his desk, grabs some more paper, and starts another story...
(( Ignoring Pinkie's post. ))| ...the author beginning his morning ritual, shoving a pair of pencils in each nostril, before typing away, about a lettuce, and a cabbage, falling into love.
Decide to get the mutant tomato babies, and cook them. Frying them evenly on each side, before serving them with some pancakes. To their dear old aunt. Aunt Margarine...
...never gets to do anything. The author stands up. Clearly it was a year ago that he had stopped... why did this begin again? What was his purpose? Why the heck was he bumping such an old thread? Regardless, the story must go on... ...Aunt Margarine devours the children. "These are delicious!" She remarked. "Where and how did you cook them to such perfection?"
The lettuce and the cabbage became nervous. They know Aunt Margarine's sensitivity to fried tomatoe babies that were once alive but didn't actually serve a purpose in life, so they lied, "We got them from the fertile lands of Equestria, and an orange taught us how to make them savory to one's tastebuds. And maybe their liver. ANYWAYS, speaking of Equestria, do you want to help us take over and rule the Diamond Dog population? We've heard they like shiny rocks, so we really need to get rid of them all before they do something stupid."
