Pretty much what Grey said. Why is 'love' the only overcomplicated emotion? Why must we ramble on about sexuality, morality, blah blah blah. Why can one not go into detail about, say, pleasure? Why do we not ask questions about when pleasure is morally correct, or who can have it, et cetera? Love is an emotion as any other. Also, I'm unwaveringly heterosexual. I will never join a relationship with anyone who is more than 7 years older or younger than me, as I consider that morally incorrect. I support LGBTs, but I will leave the churches to decide if they want to marry those couples or not. And finally, I avoid existing relationships. It's why you never see me jammering on about 'Congratulations!' or 'aww thats soooo sweet i hope you live happily ever after'. As an added note, this forum has too many relationship-related things.
I think there's more to consider than simply sex here. Age gaps can usher in a whole plethora of maturity issues too, especially with teenagers. People mature at different rates and in different areas which appears to be particularly prominent during teenage-hood. For example, the older you get, the more responsibilities your likely to get shovelled onto you for you to then attempt to juggle with. A younger partner has the potential to rub you up the wrong way simply because they aren't at the same point in their life. They're more likely to have more freedom to do as they please, while you work till the wee hours of the morning or whatever. It's perfectly possible for the younger partner to then raise their concern that they don't see the older partner enough. The only options are to give up the responsibility (not always an option as it's more than likely a job of some kind, of course) or feebly shrug one's shoulders. The younger partner can either understand, having matured enough in that way, or continue to raise the issue with increasing volume. This escalates into fights and such. That's just an issue off the top of my head, of course. One or the other might just find each other annoying because of that maturity gap. More in temperament and attitude towards life or money or the relationship as a whole, not necessarily because they launch into the Gangnam style jig every so often, I'd like to make clear. Personality development, not cultural interests. Although, it does remind me of a mathematical formula suggested to be used as a guideline for this sort of thing. I remember it from xkcd. Take it with a massive pinch of salt as it's more likely to be a joke than an actually useful formula. The only principal that appears to hold up that's come from a web comic that I know of is 'The Internet Jerkwad Theory' (altered because of swears and I'm a mod so it's doubly naughty) so don't take it as gospel. I mention it because I deem it relevant and interesting. There could be something to it. Lowest Socially Acceptable Age of Partner = (Your Age/2) + 7
Remember, not everyone who may be older than their own lover is a pedophile. There are many people out there in relationships that may be controversial, but completely reject the ideas of pedophilia. It may take a little time, and at first, it may seem like an odd approach falling in love, or even dating, someone who is much older than you. As long as the youngest of the two is of a reasonable age, such as 16 or 17 in most areas of the United States, then it is seen as a steady relationship that could blossom. Just as Valkyyria pointed out that a relationship with someone who's 22 is dating someone who's 32, and someone who's 16 dating someone who's 26. The younger in those two relationships is of a reasonable age, and they want a stable relationship to form from it. It would be far different if someone was the age of 13, and wanting to date someone who's 23, as the younger one is seen as a minor, and in most cases, the immediate assumption of the older person being a pedophile can be made credible. In my opinion, the age of consent of your current vicinity should be the judge of whether a relationship of that kind can be seen as reasonable. Such as in my state, the age of consent is 16, while other states may have it set to 17 or 18. I'm not sure about the international standards when it comes to the age of consent, but I can take a guess it's not that far off. I remember how I used to be rather flirty back when I was joined this site and used Skype again after such a long absence. It took me a while to realize that wasn't the way to go, and I soon stopped it altogether. As some of the others mentioned, relationships often struggles when one has college, school, or even a job to tend to. It lessens the time they get to spend time together, and sometimes even begin the decline of feelings for one another. I've witnessed this both in online relationships, and even in some RL relationships. Time can be seen as both a friend and a foe to relationships, with the "friendly" side being the part where steady relationships last, and even develop into something more. The "enemy" side can be seen as the part time also plays by both consuming and lessening the time you get to see your loved one, and this retaliates by breaking apart the feelings and love. As for some of the posts I've seen, I'm not certain whether I'm either mono or poly in nature. It's something I've been thinking about since I lurked this thread, and I can tell you this, I have had my share of moments when I felt feelings for another one... in both ways that Foxy described in an earlier post. Believe me, I thought I only loved one at one time, but that changed rather quickly when I began to develop feelings for others, surpassing the ones I had for my own lover by then. Life can have its odd moments here and there, some of which you might not understand, and others... That you can understand. Recalling from my recent post, love is something we all have inside of us, and sometimes, it takes the special someone, or in a few cases, the special people to reach in and open the love up and share it with you. I find that online relationships can be far more stable than relationships in the real world, as there are several obstacles in the world that can get in the way of the one you love. I've had this experience several times in my life, but alas, I won't say that online relationships are the best. Distance apart, the lack to meet each other soon, and even locations all play the role of obstacles in an online relationship. However, if both of the ones in the relationship can be put down their hooves and stay close with their lover, then their future will look up to them, and even bloom into a whole new one.
I think we already know that the people who would take advantage of age is a very slim margin, but I felt I had to play Devil's Advocate.
Really? I honestly found a distinct lack of accurate or constructive content; Mostly drawn out, lengthy and overly verbose recounts based on Personal experience or opinion. Not to say all of it, but a fair chunk. Love isn't metal enough anyway.
Sounds rather constructive to me. Love and sexuality are simply put, feelings, and with personal experience being asked upon, opinion will follow due to the lack of evidence on both of these subjects.
Freedom of opinion. Not even you can infringe on that. Love and sexuality aren't brutal. Metal is. It also runs in my family as deep as programming. On my mother's side that is.
You can't kill the Metal. The Metal will live on. *Ahem* I've nothing more to add on this topic really.
there was this guy that worked with me, he was 26, his wife was 42. Huge age gap. just kinda adding that to Cyber's thingy up there. *post will now be buried*
Love is an interesting way that we as humans have evolved as a method of ensuring the propagation of our species. I know a few other species have something similar (if not the same), but as an emotion that causes us to go at such lengths to protect and sometimes hurt the ones we love it is quite shocking that we evolved this as the method that continues our species.
We've done roughly the same thing with stuff like fear as we have done with love; built it up from a base, hard-coded thought process that's had ideas, beliefs and tradition built on top. So, take fear. It's the natural reaction of all currently living things. It's the result of passed on genes and habits practised by only select groups who checked over their shoulder every so often and jumped out of their skin, flooding their blood with adrenaline when something leaped out at them. Fight or flight has kept animals alive for millennia and Darwinism got rid of the rest. Humans have gotten to a point where most of those monsters a hugely pacified threat that you can pay money to go and see behind plexiglass. At this point, we'll attempt to deliberately scare each other for fun, even rationalising it as something enjoyable. Ghost stories and the horror genre have arisen out of that as well as sci-fi, gothic and creepypasta. We've studied how that fear reaction can be triggered - by associating objects and people with said fear - and even looked into how to stop it. We'll even think our way out of running and crying if needs be. With Love, it would have started as propagation of the species until the ideas of loyalty or shared experience and interest began to permeate until it's affectionate embrace becomes a driving force. It peculates through the membranes and drives thoughts from the self to a collective whole. It's almost like teamwork with more perks and books written about it.
Human bonds are a weird thing. Eventually they will be severed in some way. Some last longer than others. I feel that it is our moral obligation to ensure that we choose our bonds carefully, and if we do get these bonds, that we do whatever we can to make sure these bonds last as long as they can.
I think love should be shared with everyone, there are some who will not deserve it but they will get what is coming to them. Now, with relationships? Sorry, not for me. It seems to be the point of life is just to pass on genetic information and nothing more. No, I'd like to think I did something better with my life than that, as such I find myself an ace. Neither Girls nor boys work on me.
That kind of depends in what you're looking for in a relationship. If it's something more sexual, then its obviously better to do something short-distance. However, if you're just looking for company, then long distance could work.
Never had a relationship.. But it is a complicated subject I prefer not to touch on, But all yours responses are quite interesting.
I had a few girlfriends either for a short time or online, but I've only had 2 Major Girlfriends. I dated one girl in 2006 and the other in 2007. I lost my virginity in 2006 to my first major girlfriend when we were 17 (she is just 3 months younger than me). My second girlfriend practices abstinence until marriage and is still a virgin (she is 4 months younger than me). I am now 23 and haven't been in a major relationship in over 5 years. Right now, I am concentrating on losing weight and getting back to my original weight. I still fantasize about the both of them. I rather date (and eventually marry) my second girlfriend cause she is kinder and we got long 98% of our relationship. The first one is hotter, but I don't know many girls hotter than her anyways. My second girlfriend is between the "pretty" and "cute" mark and is very petit, when we were 18 and would be in public, people looked disgusted at us cause even though she was 18, she looked 12 and people probably thought I was a pedo. She is still very small and is only about 100 pounds. I love her the most cause we had tons of things in common like anime, music, pokemon, etc. I still see her about twice a year at an anime convention and around December for my bdays. She is one of the main reasons I love MLP and is a big fan of Rainbow Dash cause she cosplayed as her at Tulsa's anime convention.
It is a very broad topic I think...I have had few of them, all were serious. I was raised to be very conservative and stuck up when it comes to many things. It is difficult to give formula of success and it would be hypocritical of me too seeing how my fiance of many years recently left me for what is barely a reason for adult to leave someone. Lucky thing goddess of love didn't want to keep me suffering for long so I am happy again if tad untrusting. What seems to be the secret is...stop trying to impress your person. Show him yourself in true light. This doesn't mean to be dirty and stop looking after yourself, but don't be afraid to share and talk. But allow him to be impressed by you, and not what you think is the best version of you. I love my beloved's imperfection, his nistagmus, how thin he is, how emotional and sensitive. I am completely his, I was impressed by the whole package. While many people think talking about some things in first date is bad, I say there is nothing forbidden. Before you begin anything, make sure you agree on what you see as very important things. Whether politics, religion, personal ability to tolerate some things of your beloved, it has to come out sooner instead of later. You have to know exactly what you are getting. You must never forget to show him every day how special he is to you and why you chose him. Sometimes it will lighten his entire day. Be there when you are needed but also be ready to stand aside. Be ready to forgive. Don't assume the worst. Energy you send his way changes everything. Men and women are not as different as media and everybody tries to make them. They belong to same species and want and fear same things. Never make fun of him, not even as a joke. Do your part to make it work and he will do his, normal people appreciate it when someone tries to make then happy. I still don't know single person that cares about gifts. Without intention those are meaningless little things. Best advice I have given to myself was...forget when the anniversary is. Don't offer an opportunity for someone to correct a year full of being away, nervous and rude, he has to be loving to you always, and same goes for you. Treat Valentines as nothing more than an opportunity to be together. Your love is always special. EDIT yes, long distance relationships work. Love has nothing to do with touch, it is just an added bonus. Love is something that goes above physical body.
Mentally dating Rainbow Dash and have currently no desire to date another girl. You may think me insane, but I have seen that in order to love someone, they don't even have to be real.
