So I am writing a story called Resistance rises and I would like to here your critique on it so far. It's a story about an airship pirate turned Revouloutinary hero set in the steampunk walled country of Europia. Chapter 1: Control. That's what they want so that's what they demand. The totalitarian government in charge of a broken society. Large buildings of brass and steel rise high above the industrial slums, kings overlooking there subjects. Steam cascades from the funnels like a lit cigarette making miserable and mindless minions for the government to mould and control. Although resistance shall rise from the likes of a single woman an airship Bucaneer known only as the Honeybee. On the deck of the 14 gun steam powered sprite class airship, The Olympiad, she watches, planning her her next move. She's a tiger in the smog choosing her next prey. As she looks onwards, she reminisces of a tale told to her by her late father. Who was a commandant in the Ironclad political parties private army and he was there during the overthrowing of the empress who ruled prior to that faithful day. The tale in question speaks of a girl, the same age as the Honeybee. The Girl is said to have led a militia of a thousand strong, against a threat much greater than she could of imagined. As the Honeybee returns to the real world she is awoken by a metallic man made of copper and brass, modelled after a Victorian gentleman with a moustache and monocle built into his body. "Mistress, I have news of an Ironclad patrol vessel on the starboard bound. If we take advantage of the fog we can board it and take them by suprise". The metal man spoke with a robotic twang as if his vocal mechanism was one of those new personal gramophones. "Thank you Hatchworth, now go to the tell the crew to set their pistols to half cock. We've got a prize to catch". The airship swooped and swerved, rise and fell. Getting into a perfect position, ready to pounce. The ship in question was a 32 gun, 3 levelled and 3 ballooned Goliath class warship obviously much bigger and more powerful than there sprite class. Although this did not faze the brave captain as it got up close to the Ironclad ship. Deck touching deck. "CHARGE AND TAKE NO PRISONERS!". The Honeybee barked out orders as she and the rest of the crew mantled over the side of the ship. Leaving one man behind to steer. The air officers of Ironclad were completely oblivious to this as they went through their daily routine of sitting in the captains quarters discussing how privalidged they were, but outside it was chaos. Bullets flew through the air, swords clashed and blood flowed like rivers off the side of the ship like jells waterfalls. The deck was cleared only bloodstains of the once slaved men remained. At least they were in a better place now".
