thanks for the hug (literaly blushed here) and sorry if i gonne too deep with my problems. here in everypony i feel more confortable to say all kinds of thing and i guess i gone too far. *hugs back* (im never tired of giving and getting hugs XD)
TEXT WALL INCOMING! ARM ORBITAL PRETENTIOUS CANNONS! Although you are correct in assuming this is one source of shyness it is not a definite source. Many people overcome what their parents have done to them in making them feel that all things said person did were inappropriate. I think shyness is actually much more inherent and natural. As in, we start shy and the abnormal state is outgoing. This thought comes about due to natural human instinct, specifically the fear of isolation. We are social creatures. Without interaction, we would go insane or be hurt, sometimes irreversibly. Since society has so many unspoken rules that aid in this isolation, it is natural for people to sort of withdraw on the uniqueness in their personality and become one of the group. I commend those who don't fall into this state, but there is nothing wrong in being in this state. I consider myself to have fought through these stigma's and to be outgoing, but as I said there is nothing wrong with not having done that and it's honestly surprising I have due to my own life issues (Not the thread to go into them). Now, I think it's cute in Fluttershy's case because she is shy when she clearly has no need to be. She is the perfection of the societal stigma. Kind to others, soft-spoken in her opinions, always helping the group, never asking for credit, always just being great. But she is still shy. The ironic thing is that if she weren't shy then her personality may have likely turned out to be one in which she should be shy. This story is terrible. I'm so sorry that you had to go through so much pain in your life. It must have been horrible. I cannot commend you enough for overcoming all of this. Words cannot describe my respect for you. You are a much stronger man than I. I think at this point you should have no need to worry about your interactions based on how you described yourself currently. I think working on the anxiety can only help you at this point, and I think to work on that you just need to look at this story and see that you've overcome so much and your relationships will end up okay. But you've already shown yourself so much self-love that it's minor in comparison. You're such a brilliant person, and I send my love your way <3. You, sir, are a strong person. I personally consider unrequited love to be the single greatest pain this world has to offer and the only pain where it's allowed to be relative to other forms of pain. Although she left scars in her interactions with you, this girl has not brought you down permanently, which is just a testament to your strength. Even though you changed for a while you were strong enough to change back. I understand the paranoia. I have it as well. I haven't really been able to get over it completely, but telling myself "I am a loved person" out loud has really helped me with that. At a certain point, you just have to trust other people when they tell you they like you. I certainly do <3. I'm always sorry for the nerds who are bullied because I never experienced that at my schools growing up. I'm a nerd and deserve the same for more than just that (You know, with the ponies and whatnot. Also wearing lipstick to school 'cause I thought it'd be funny) but never got it. So, I'm sorry you had to go through that. As for the girls, you're perfectly okay. It's impressive that you don't care and, honestly, you shouldn't unless there is love there. I'll tell you something. I'm currently 18 and have never had a girlfriend. Another thing; I'm still stuck on a girl who broke my heart months ago. I think you're going to be okay at this front. I understand the work situation completely, and I think you'll be fine in the future. Thank you for sharing your story with us <3. To start off, with most bronies it's almost impossible to bother them with emotional problems. Feel free to seek the help you need if you need it. Please note my sig; I am contactable any of those ways and always open to talk. Now, onto your story. I suppose the first thing to do is this: http://fillydelphia.com/sites/default/files/u3/762 - angel animated fluttershy flying hugging.gif (Don't know how to do images on this site) I'm so happy you've been able to overcome your fears in many ways. Asking for help is a big one, and it's brilliant that you can do that. I struggle with that myself a lot of the time, so I know where you're coming from. I think you're on the right path and you will just continue to overcome your struggles. <3 And more hugs. *Hug* And hugs for everypony. *Silverpony hugs everypony*
I don't know how to put my take on this topic into words, but I can say that ALL of your stories have similarities to mine and for that I give hugs and brohoofs and love for all. Do I come across as shy on these forums? I ask because I certainly do in real life. If all of us were in a room, I probably wouldn't say a word....
I haven't been here long enough to say, but extroverts exist to bring out introverts! You wouldn't be silent, I'd be talking with you (Even if I was rated an introvert) Are you the same Zephyr from synch?
thaks for the hug Silver! (i realy felt hugged by Fluttershy with that image ) i am trying to go trhough it, and even without knowing it, everypony here is helping a lot :derpe:. i say thanks and send hugs and glomps to everypony!
Thank you. All of you. You guys have no idea how much this means to me. I'm glad was able to share with you guys. Thanks again to all of you *hugs everypony* I wish I could type something better, but I got to go to work.
Thanks for sharing everypony. I'm surprised that you guys are so willing to share this information. Pretty much anyone who adheres closely to stereotypical characteristics of anything are immoral - not just the Joe six-pack stereotype. They don't have any person of their own, so they spend all their time building themselves as a fragile shell of other people's opinions and expectations and lash out violently against those who are contrary to their type, as to challenge their assumptions. This isn't true. Most of one's personality is determined by their early childhood experiences and is almost completely set by the time they are three years old. Genetics have a minor role in determining personality. Anyway, I have another question to go on from my last question (see post #10). Would you be shy around others if you were hiding escaped slaves in your home from authorities in the ante-bellum South?
I'm really moved by how open everypony here is in sharing their stories and insecurities. There are so many wonderfull and special people on this forum, and all I can say is I'm very happy I joined here. (Praise to ponies for bringing us together!) So, here's the story of my life and shyness. When I was little I always played alone at school. I rarely joined other children in their games and was content with being alone in my own imaginary world. I couldn't relate to other kids, and other kids thought me to be strange and dumb mostly. I preferred solitude, although I always had one best friend whom I played a lot with outside school. When I got older (3d grade) I started realizing how weird it was of me to always be alone. From this point I started thinking of myself as weird, and slowly throughout the years, my self-esteem dropped and degenerated. I no longer played alone, but just sat in a corner hoping not to be noticed. This period is also when I started getting bullied. I don't recall much of those years or of how bad the bullying was, so I probably forced it away. All I remember is that my self-esteem dropped and dropped, and so did my position in the class. Eventually I was transferred to another class because the bullying became too bad (an initiative of my parents, the school didn't bother much). I believe I wasn't picked on that much anymore, but I was still on the bottom of the social ladder. And my self-esteem was too badly damaged to work myself up in any manner. I thought of myself as an unsocial freak, and was literally paralized in any social action. People still thought of me as dumb, and so did I. I dreaded every day at school. When I went to 'highschool', things changed. I've been there for four years now, and have still been on the bottom of the social ladder ever since. I was still very insecure and was teased regularly by classmates (though never really 'bullied'). The first three years I've had a close group of 3 friends that shared this place with me. They too, were considered 'nerds' and therefore we were drawn to each other. One of them became my best friend. We could share a lot together, and had a long, close, valuable (and kind of rocky, due to differences) friendship that lasts until now. We learned so much from each other.. After the third year things changed again. Me and my friends save one didn't make it to the next class, and we mostly ended up in seperate classes, but I was still in one class with my best friend. The four of us still spent every break together, but we all started developping differently. And the largest difference in development was the one between me and my best friend. My friend became more extrovert, and started socializing a lot with classmates. This, while I became more and more reluctant of the shallow and harsh social jungle that is school. Save my friend, I really didn't like a single person in that class. He decided to fit in more, and I decided to keep myself an outsider. We still stayed very good friends, but it definitly led to some awkward situations on my behalf. Now the fouth year is over, and I passed to fourth class. My best friend however, again didn't make it, and has to go to another school. I'm sort of okay with it. I think we'll stay friends and I'm relieved I won't have to be confronted with that kind of awkward situations anymore. (Eg him talking to someone, me not daring to say a word). We've spent a lot of time together for four long years, and I feel spending some time apart now might just help to stay friends even longer. And now to see how next year will be. I won't be in one permanent class anymore, but instead I'll be in different 'clusters'. So, I think my shyness comes forth out of being different at very young age, and not being willing (or able) to adjust to the group. Shyness and loneliness are the two things I'm struggling most with right now. I'm also still having trouble believing that somebody could actually 'like' me. I'm a very sensitive person... even though I rarely show my emotions to other people, I do have a lot of deep primeval feelings that I just can't share with anyone. It's just that I know most people won't understand these feelings, and that's what makes me close up and be lonely. And this again adds to my shyness. Some of those primeval feelings (of love and compassion), I can bring to rest a bit by watching MLP: FIM. Whew, and that was the story of my life. I hope I didn't sound too complaining. I'm really not feeling sorry for myself... I just wanted to share it. Can I have digihugs now please?
of course you can Twinkledust! *glomps* and everypony else that needs a hug just ask for it because im here to give hugs and chew hay, and im all out of hay. XD
@twinkledust yes all the hugs you need hugs you need. *hugs*. I don't know how much it would help but I went though the same things when I was in school. It was terrible, but I guess it made me the person I am today. I HOPE your're able to get through school with no more problems. If only we could get the world to feel LOVE and COMPASSION. We could end all the bullying and hate. I'm glad everypony is sharing these stories.
blieve me, it was very hard to me to share my story, mostly because lots of bad things happened to me and because i thought everyone would think im just trying to call some attention on me , but i feel confortable talking to all the ponies around here and i am very surprised how everyone shared and received other ones stories im so happy for being here that i could hug everypony! i was going to it anyways XD *hugs hugs and hugs to everyone*
Aaaaawh, you guys make me feel all warm and fuzzy! ^_^ That's all I can say right now. Thanks for being you, I shouldn't forget there are actually a lot of cool people out there.
@ the first part Do I smell a Nature VS Nurture debate? @ the second part I would assume that it would depend on the person. One person could take up a crusade against the evils of slavery actively while another would be could be withdrawn and only help someone if they were within their safe zone (Which would be their farm, or their property and maybe a part of the surrounding area) I don't think that everybody reacts the same way to the same situation, even if they are raised by the same parents in the same situations.
Thank you for sharing this story. I think the shyness, as you pretty much said, comes from self-loathing or, at the very least, low self-esteem. The easiest way to work on your problems that you think you have, from my perspective, is to start showing yourself love. Just start with saying "I'm an okay person" often out loud. Be able to accept love from others who want to give it. That being said, you can have all the digihugs you would like: http://arch.413chan.net/Rainbow_Dash_Pinkie_Pie_hugs-(n1307142455904).png
I believe that shyness comes from both our genetics, but also in most cases our life's experiences, which I believe is my case for the most part. I always disliked myself even when I was barely in school, but I honestly never realized it was that. I was fairly outgoing throughout the majority of grade school, and tried to make friends with everyone, although most people found me annoying because I only ever wanted to talk about the same thing. It wasn't until around fifth grade that I began to withdraw from others. I know why it happened, too, but I don't feel comfortable saying here. To sum it up, I began to realize just how different I actually was from everyone, and that people who were different like me were never very popular. I withdrew to the Internet, because that was the only place where I could be myself, and no one questioned it... Now, it seems that every time I attempt to socialize with people in the real world, it always ends up far from what I want it to be.
