Speak whats in your mind

Discussion in 'Serious Discussion' started by DesuPastaLuv, Nov 16, 2012.

  1. CRBWildcat

    CRBWildcat Raging Shopaholic
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    I found out recently that the circumstances of my birth were a very near thing.

    My parents' 4th child was born in 1978. At some point between then and 1983--I never asked them for the date--they decided to have a 5th child, at which point they most likely would've stopped. That particular attempt was halted by a miscarriage. Eventually they tried again, I was born in 1984, and the rest is history.

    I'm thankful they had me, of course. Still, the fact that if it weren't for that miscarriage I would never have existed...

    ...it's sobering to think about.
     
  2. Poisonous Nightmare

    Poisonous Nightmare ~Pink Insanity~
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    I know I haven't been active lately but I wish to share this.

    I have finally figured myself out to a degree and I am accepting all the good and bad in my past. Sheading my fears and worry of my past. Living for me today~

    The reason I came to this is because I have been spending 2020 meditating on myself. Seeking answers and I think I finally got what I need. I have decided that My past, My fear, my hate, my desire to dwell on all that's transpired must not hold me. I am sheading the old me, sheading the insecurities, sheading my ties to things that only have left harm in my life.

    I don't fear death. I don't fear this pandemic. I don't fear the coming storm. I will still wear a mask, and I will still keep to myself IRL, mostly. But I am going to be living as I wish. If I get sick, I get sick. There is nothing for it.

    But point being I have been happier since I stopped worrying and stopped holding on to *squee!*. This has been a shift for me spiritually too. Thus some of the changes.
     
  3. CRBWildcat

    CRBWildcat Raging Shopaholic
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    That explains the shift from shape-shifting bug to super-hungry bio-android. I have to admit, that's a good pick for an avatar.
     
  4. Poisonous Nightmare

    Poisonous Nightmare ~Pink Insanity~
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    Honestly, Majin Android 21 is more a figurative representation of my spiritual change. At least the closest representation.

    But thanks~ I like the avi change too~
     
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  5. RainbowDash9000

    RainbowDash9000 Mistress of Awesomeness
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    Honestly though it's so surreal to me that I have been on this forum for 7 years now. (Literally a few days ago was the 7-year anniversary. Woo!) Looking back on everything, I've began realizing more and more each day how much this place impacted me more than I thought. Not in a bad way, of course. (Despite any of the dramas that have happened here, but I believe that's pretty common on a lot of forums anyway.) It's a shame I lost contact with a few of the friends that I met here and couldn't reach out to them. I don't know if sending a PM on here would do much since they're not around anymore. But at least I am still in contact with a fair handful amount of people outside of this site that I met during my time here. So I'm very grateful for that, even if we do not talk regularly. What mostly matters to me is they're still around.

    Another thing that's been on my mind is, I've been wanting to change my appearance on this site. (i.e. my avatar, username, etc.) I have gotten so accustomed to my current look and feel weird changing anything. I have been using this name since I first joined and back when I used to watch the show and be in the fandom, so it was sort of like a part of me. (Also the fact I was only a teenager when I registered so I didn't really think twice about setting up my profile.) So I'm pretty much debating on modifying some things and worried that people will not recognize me, maybe even treat me differently. Like I stated previously, been using this same look since the beginning so it does seem odd on making adjustments and all.

    Anyways, I'm pretty much rambling by this point and been typing this up for almost 40 minutes now. I'll just leave it to that.
     
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  6. Poisonous Nightmare

    Poisonous Nightmare ~Pink Insanity~
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    I understand and yeah. Changing can be scary, but if it's a change that makes you happy, then don't avoid it. As you will hurt yourself so much more by trying to conceal it. But also be comfy with idea of the change. Never force something you do not want.

    My changes here were a long time coming, but I have reached a point where it was comfy for me to recently.
     
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  7. RainbowDash9000

    RainbowDash9000 Mistress of Awesomeness
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    Agreed, if others don't seem to like it, then that's okay. What matters to me it's something that makes me happy. I shouldn't let others bring me down based on what's best for myself.

    I almost forgot to mention this in my previous post, I've been thinking about it for a couple years, and hopefully that time will come when I feel comfortable and confident enough.
     
  8. Poisonous Nightmare

    Poisonous Nightmare ~Pink Insanity~
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    Your time will come~ *sits and sways tail*
     
  9. Dragonbait

    Dragonbait Do you like bananas?
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    Kudos to you. Always make sure to take care of yourself. You deserve it. Never let anyone convince you otherwise.

    *is mesmerized by swaying tail*
     
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  10. Poisonous Nightmare

    Poisonous Nightmare ~Pink Insanity~
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    *tilts head and look back to my tail* Oooooh.
     

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