This thread has derailed a bit... ...like off a cliff... ...and then there was a fiery explosion when it hit the bottom
Could you clarify, which part were you asking about. The "coming out" or the dark thoughts I was having?
Thanks for clarifying. It wasn't easy, hell, I was worried, even though I was almost completely sure that my dad wouldn't have any problems with it. My dad is an open minded person, and the only two other people who I came out to were also relatively open minded so they had no problems with it either. My dad was surprised but that was kind of to be expected, but other than the surprise he showed it went well. The school I'm in is quite progressive so if it became publicly know there then it probably wouldn't be a problem, but since I do worry a bit about the people who go there, as the ideals and the people are not one and the same, I probably won't be making it "public" any time soon, not that it is even the business of the people at my school.
Just takes some time to gather information. I, for one, don't ask some random guy. I either try to smoothly integrate it into a conversation, or wait for them to come to me, usually the former. If it doesn't work, or they say they're straight, then it's easy to just let it go.
You can usually pick up on people's body language if they're interested. At least, that's how I've outed potential female partners. That, and you'd be surprised how often a person's sexual orientation can come naturally up in a conversation of it deviates from the norm. Also, once you're old enough, gay bars. Lots and lots of gay bars.
I haven't really thought about dating. Though some day, when I move to a bigger city, perhaps I'll consider it, but for now I'm just happy that I have a place where I can be myself, even thought it is a forum.
It's been a while since I posted here, so I figured I'd post an update on myself. My name, as a few of you know, is Chapien. I'm a 17 year old brony, programmer, and game designer, and I am (or, in a way, was) gay. That is, I am attracted almost exclusively to men (although there are quite a few exceptions, I find), and I've honestly only recently come to terms with myself, despite my previously confident demeanor. I've spent the past two years doubting and hating myself due to my sexuality and my identity, but, with age comes experience - and with experience, apparently, comes acceptance. What other people think of you really doesn't matter, not in the long run - what matters is your own self image and, ultimately, what makes you happy. I used to hate myself because my family didn't accept me for being gay - and I've realized it doesn't matter what makes my family happy. Before I - or anyone, for that matter - can make others happy, I must first make myself happy. And in that long process of personal self-fulfillment, I've discovered a multitude of things about myself that I never previously knew. For example, I'm genderqueer. Still, it's good to be here again.
That is so true Chap. I you can't be happy then you definitely can't make others happy, It's something that society needs to learn, and that includes people who hate gays.
What do y'all think of 'girl*squee!*s' & 'guydykes' (I hate those terms, but it is the only term I know to use for these people). In a guydykes case, it's a supposedly straight man who is transgender, in which 'he' sees himself as a lesbian. Girl*squee!* is vice-versa, a supposedly straight woman who is transgender, in which 'she' sees herself as a gay man. If any pony knows a more proper term please tell me. Why I asked is cause I am a guydyke. Sexually, I am a straight man, but mentally, I always thought of myself as a female, and is now coming out. I can see how there will be a lot of confusion and misconceptions about us, but I always thought of myself to be a girl, but kept to myself (to avoid discrimination from prejudice people). Yet, I am sexually attracted to women as well. Sent from my iPod touch named 'Rainbow Dash' cause I am the Realest BRonY in the mug, by Tapatalk.
Gay trans-woman/man is what most people use I guess, where a transwoman is M2F and a transman is F2M. Also, totally fine with it, why not. People's gender are really none of my business. I think people perceive gender very differently, and as I see it, most of the things we consider 'feminine' or 'masculine' are social constructs. Thus, for me personally, transitioning or choosing to identify as anything other than my biological sex would not make sense.I'm just me. I have girly parts, and me seldom wearing dresses does not make me less of a woman. Again, this is just for me personally. That being said, how you perceive yourself and your gender and what you wish to identify as is for you and you alone to decide. If you choose to come out and maybe even go forth with a physical transition (hormones and such), you will almost certainly receive a lot of discrimination for it. Stay strong. I wish you all the best.
Thanks for the support, I usually think of myself as a woman (a lesbian). And also it is hard to know if I am even a trans-lesbian cause even though I am not attracted to men, I do like shemales a lot. It sounds confusing, far-fetched, and even fictional. It's now almost not as much of the discrimination, it's the fear that people won't understand, jump to conclusions, or even think I am making this up. I wanted to wear dresses as a kid, do 'feminine' things (maybe why I love My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, lol), I liked dolls as a kid (had to be in the closet (at times literally) when playing with them), and always wished I was born a girl, and feel that I should. I did tell my close friends to refer to me as a female, and even told my mom and aunt that I am a transgender, they did accept it better than I thought, but I doubt they understand or actually approve of it. Some of my friends weren't as acceptable as others as well. I also worry what do other people who know me would think that they knew me for years as a 'regular guy' and now that I am a transgender female (a lot of which are homophobic & transphobic). I just don't know if the little appreciation I get will be destroyed cause of it.
see this is how i feel.while im straight i tend to have some tendencies that might be seen as bordering on bi and honestly i have never really had a problem with gay or bi individuals.i just hope everypony can be accepted for who they are. its not who you get in bed with but what kind of pony you are at heart. trust the one who fights from the kindness of his heart to reach out to ppl protecting and loving them to tell yall that.anyhoo not sure if i can be a help to anypony but im subscribing just to stay in the talk
Your sexuality has to deal a lot with exploring yourself. Identifying what you enjoy and what makes you happy tend to be long processes filled with doubt and wonder, and you shouldn't be dismayed if you like/dislike an orientation that others do/don't of your... gender expectation. For example, being a guy and finding other guys attractive doesn't make you gay in the sense that you can see the sexual appeal in them, but you're not sexually/physically attracted to them yourself. I think people usually look at this trait fearfully because of the implications that others might see them as gay when they might not be. I see girls and guys and think they're pretty, even those that are masculine or feminine against their gender. Never used either term cause they seem a little demeaning if an outsider were to use them. They seem like terms for people who choose to identify as the opposite sex. I guess in a guy's case, it's a lot like the colloquial 'trap' or femboy. For girls, it's usually just tomboy or being described as 'butch' (usually used more as a term for a high degree of masculinity and expression of it).
see thats the thing alot of ppl here in the south (tennessee) might say tjings are only gay or straight but yeah there is a wjole spectrum of many and varied as well as at times similar differences some of us fall closer to straight and some of us can be more toward the middle and still be straight but be comfortable enough with themselves to be able to tell someone of the same gender they look good without it causing them to question themselves. i guess what im sayin is be who you are and dont let anyone tell you your wrong for beib true to yourself
@SunBurn: I trust my close friends way more than either my mom or aunt. A lot of time those two show apathy to my interests and don't care to understand them, and has jumped to conclusions in the past. My 3 best friends are Khrys, Alvin, & Edward. Both Ed & Alvin are gay and dating each other. Khyrs is my best friend, and has told me things that concern him or about him that he wouldn't tell others. He even became a Brony and now almost enjoys the franchise as much as me, he makes Brony Rap, and has a lot of Bronies & Pegasisters as friends. So when it comes to support & trust, it's those 3. Sent from my Apple iPod touch named 'Apple Jack' cause I am the Realest BRonY in the mug, by Tapatalk.
im glad you got someone to trust. i know how you feel im a brony and a furry and i dont even tell mom about that
I was raised in an environment where I learned from an early age it was ok to love whomever I wanted. My Mother and Grandmother are very accepting of gays. In fact, my Grandmother got really upset last time we were out because there were anti-gay protesters. I didn't know homosexuality and heterosexuality were terms used till I got to junior high. Before then I just thought, people love people, sometimes they are the same gender, but I thought it was called the same thing no matter what. I came out to my Mom in High School that I was Pansexual. My Mom was perfectly fine with it as I suspected, but my father, uncles and other grandmother were very mean about it even though we had several gay people in my family and they aren't harassed. It was more along the lines of 'I knew you were a dyke because you were such a tomboy as a kid'- very unfair stereotype. Love of dinosaurs and baseball cards doesn't make you a lesbian. Very few people know because of the negative reaction I get. Usually people telling me I'm confused or assuming I'm a sl*t because I like many types of people (one of the reasons I stopped going to LGBT group). They also don't understand how I can be pansexual but also sexually abstinent (for non-religious reasons). I don't see much use in labels but I know they help people who don't understand, a little bit better. You'd think people would be more understanding given I live in such a liberal town and one of the few states that allows gay marriage. But there are still a lot of issues with ignorance. I really dislike that many gay people feel like they have to define themselves by their sexuality or change themselves. I know many people who come out as gay and suddenly they speak with a lisp or being gay is all they want to talk about. Just be yourself and screw what others think. If someone has an issue with you, then they aren't the sort of person you should have in your life. http://youtu.be/25DdrEOL4ro
see thats just it some people can be so unaccepting of others. but i want to make it known here that all are welcome as far as im concerned
