People like that we don't need. All that does is give ammunition to the morons who insist it's a choice.
What if it isn't a "trend"? What if they're experimenting with their sexuality the same way everybody else does, only more openly? Studies show that, no matter how gay or straight a person is, they are likely to have one sexual thought in their life about a person who is not their preference. This entire process of sexual identification is a part of finding out who you are and becoming that person, but that same person is always changing. It wouldn't be impossible for a straight person to become gay or the other way around, it just doesn't normally happen. Straight people who occasionally enjoy the company of members of their own sex are not uncommon. So what do we label those people? Straight? Gay? Bisexual? Who knows? Sexuality might not be a "trend", but it is definitely something far more fluid than most people picture it to be. All these labels and groups are far too restricting for some people. I identified as straight for a long time and was often uncomfortable doing so, but found in my teenage years that I was occasionally attracted to males. Then I identified as bisexual for a time, but I never felt comfortable with that identity either. Now, I have chosen not to identify. If someone is interested in me, they can approach me and I will give them a yes or no. It's that simple for me, however complicated it may seem looking at it from another perspective. My point is this: you shouldn't care about what other people identify as or for what reasons they do so. It isn't your business unless you're interested in them.
I was basically about to say this, but I couldn't possibly have worded it as well as Dilly here. I will, however, add this: I get it. Some years ago, it would have annoyed me too.
I dunno, I've never been fully in love with a boy but I do like to uphold a bit of an air of bisexuality. In a half-jokingly way that is. In my (highschool) enviroment 'gay' is still a bit of a taboo thing. Nobody is openly agains homosexuality, but nobody is openly homosexual either. I simply refuse to believe that someone can be entirely heterosexual. I'm not for sure, and I guess I want to make it a bit more light-hearted subject matter...
So, I've already told my parents that I believe I'm bisexual and for the most part, they seemed fine about it, with my mum even going so far as to say "That's a bit greedy isn't it?". They have no problem but I noticed that the likes of my dad skirt around the subject and they somewhat seem to dismiss it as me just not knowing for sure yet. Well, since then I've fallen in love with a boy and I know that I can't go anywhere with it unless they know. They've never even known me as falling in love with a girl in any serious way, but I've been in love with this boy for quite a while now. I don't know what to say to them to be honest. Being faced with such blunt reality may end up with different results, particularly with my dad whom I've never shared my feelings with in my entire life. I don't want to make things weird and I don't want to treat me differently. I especially don't want to know what my religious grandparents, who I love dearly, have to say on the matter, seeing as they don't even know that I'm bisexual. Bottom line, I'm afraid and I feel like I'm running out of time. This has proven to be a community that I can trust and I hope that some of you can at least offer some personal insight, advice or even just some simple words of encouragement.
Well, I don't have much in the ways of advice since I really have no experience with these kinds of things. I hope it all goes well for you though, I can't imagine it's an easy thing to do. Personally to keep things from being awkward I would try to go about things quickly and nonchalantly, sexuality isn't really a big deal (despite what many may think), so why make it into one? Your parents (or dad at least) may have shrugged the idea off, but you have given them some forewarning, so they shouldn't be too shocked. And if they are, well perhaps it's not such a bad thing for them to see that you're serious, perhaps a shock is exactly what they need! Good luck man!
Hi there. I'm bisexual and though I can be open with my friends and family I'm closeted at work. Unfortunately being LGBT is an offense you can be fired for in my home state. (I live in the US) Saikyo I'm saddened by your story unfortunately it's far too common. Thank you for opening this thread it's nice having a safe place to be myself. - - Auto Merge - - It was hard telling my mom and dad too. Eventually they came around and everything worked out. The best advice I have is to ease into it. Let them know you've met someone and you would like to pursue a relationship. See how that goes then mention it's a boy you're interested in. I know it's a soft approach but it worked quite well for me when there was a girl I cared for.
^ reposted for being a great response I have recently realized I'm bi. I had previously identified as gay. I still have a boyfriend and that won't be changing, but how i identify now is more just a reflection on what i'm attracted to; it doesn't change who I am or what my plans are.
You may as well repost everything Dilly posts in this section. Each one of them are just about the most awesome thing I've ever seen. Sent from my DROID3 using Tapatalk 2
So I'm sure a few of you that watch the news regularly are aware that the US Supreme Court will be making a decision soon on both California's Prop 8 (outlawing same-sex marriage in CA, after it was already legal) and also the federal government's DOMA (defense of marriage act, denying federal rights to legally married same-sex couples). Based on my wording of those two, you can probably guess how I see the two laws, and so I'm optimistic that both will be overturned. The big question now is what does this mean for states that don't already have marriage equality? If the federal government can't deny rights to people based on sexuality, then can states? It will be very interesting to see how this all plays out. It's particularly important to me, as even though I was born in Massachusetts, I still can't receive federal benefits if I ever married my partner, and even so, we are just about to move to Virginia where they don't even have marriage equality at the state level, let alone federal. Things are changing fast though, and I continue to try and stay positive. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/30/gay-marriage-supreme-court-_n_3348922.html
I can't believe I'm saying this. But the people themselves voted for Prop. 8. To overturn the -people's- vote is unconstitutional. If it were some random congress meeting? Yeah, sure, go for it. But a majority of people in California said 'We don't want gay marriage', and so it was. To repeal this is basically the first step in saying that the government can overturn a change made by the people, which makes it the first step towards tyranny. Best thing to do later down the road is just make it a federal law to allow it instead of invalidating a voting process.
The constitution provides for a Republic, not a Democracy. It is several centuries of legal precedent that minority rights should not be subject to the "tyranny of the majority", and actually, it is unconstitutional for the government to enforce discriminatory laws regardless of how they came to be. The only way around this would be if proposition 8 had amended the constitution of California, which it did not. So being that it is just a regular law, the constitution supersedes it.
Well right now, gay marriage isn't considered 'discriminatory' legally if it isn't allowed. So therefore it's supposed to be protected for it. Getting fired for being gay? Wrong. Getting harassed for being gay? Wrong. Unfortunately, however, it isn't discrimination to say no to gay marriage. Just the way it is right now. Hopefully it can change.
Over here in Northern Ireland, our assembly recently had a vote on gay marriage. Almost every political party supported it, almost all except for the largest political party, the DUP (Democratic Unionist Party) who decided to veto the vote. This is outrageous, because they were one of the only parties to do so. The only reason they could is because they had 38 MP's who were willing to veto the vote. Their party isn't even supported on the basis of their stance on homosexuals, it's on the stance of Ulster Unionism, to which I am opposed anyway. They represented a minority of people in this situation and they had a ridiculous amount power compared to the other parties, many of which only had 4 or 5, with the second largest party only holding 29 seats. These people did not accept the decision of the majority of the population, they simply followed their own traditional christian values. The DUP have a long history of this nonsense, going back to the 1980's during one of their campaigns which was known as "Save Ulster from Sodomy", in which the DUP tried to have homosexuality made illegal in Northern Ireland, which I should also note, was made legal in Northern Ireland in 1982, despite it being legal in Britain since 1967. Yeah. Real democratic. They have also stated that they believe that homosexuality is "Worse than child abuse" and have tried to have homosexuals removed from parliament. Finally, they even tried, and succeeded, to get assurances from the British government that any gay marriage laws that were passed in England, would not apply to Northern Ireland, even if they applied to Scotland and Wales. This is made all the more sad as many homosexual Unionists have nobody to vote for. It is things like these that make me ashamed to be from Northern Ireland. I live in what is possibly the most bigoted country in Western Europe, particularly in regards to religion and nationality, but that's another story altogether. Groups like the DUP can, will and have managed to keep Northern Ireland about 15 years behind the rest of the world in regards to basic human rights. It seems that hopes for gay marriage in Northern Ireland are completely out of the question for at least the next few years, whilst gay marriage in the rest of the UK could become legal within a matter of months. It's even worse for me for, as an Irish Republican, my advocacy for a United Ireland would bring about no difference as the Republic of Ireland refused gay marriage for no reason at all, proving just how strong the church control over there still is. So not only do gay Ulster Unionists have nobody to turn to, but now gay Irish Republicans have to live with the knowledge that the cause that they support will be just as, if not more, detrimental to this very important situation. If we defeat the British establishment and gain our freedom, we will still have to do battle with the church and the government of the Irish republic. Sorry for going on about this, but it's something that really boils my blood. While countries like America struggle on for equal marriage, with some areas actually getting it, my country sits in the dark ages, with a bigoted philosophy on all fronts. I felt that I needed to share this with someone, just so that I could let off some steam.
Either way, DOMa and Prop 8 at least violate the part in Bill of Rights that states we are all entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness so long as we do not trample on the rights of others. Two guys or gals getting married doesn't trample on anyone elses rights, so basically those laws are saying they do, which would be false. So ya. They're stupid. Eh...it's hard to think I'm on quite a bit of painkillers right now. But yeah, the point is 'Murica is supposed to be free.
The reason it IS discriminatory is that California first legalized same sex marriage, thousands of people got married and then the state took away their marriages AFTER they already had them. Yes it would be different to say no to same sex marriage if there never was any, but that isn't the situation in CA.
Discrimination is not letting them buy food at a restaurant. As far as the government is concerned, it's legal to deny their marriages until Gays have that inalienable right. Right now, we don't. And that's just a slice of life people have to accept for now until they can change it later.
