I use it to make waffle batter instead. Your present contains all the beer you can drink in your entire life... and then some!!!
I rub it into the wounds of my enemies! The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite time-loop. The gift contains an infinite...
I put it in a bag of holding and drop it into a portable hole, then duck. The present contains a duck.
*hugs* I taste terrible, so it's just regular Pinkie to me! You get... A quantum photon lazer torpedo but no way to fire it!
I train it to a Raichu, and become ruler of the world as the only person with a mouse that can control freaking lightning. You get the number 3.