Just put that lifetime supply of chocolate on this credit card here!! For being the 1203rd customer, you get a 1-year subscription to Rat Food Weekly!
It's very short. I like to keep things simple. Your gift contains an adorable kitten that shoots laser beams out its eyes.
I'm gonna need more apples! Mazel tov!!! For your Bar Mitzvah, you get a PUTTER and a pack of GRAPES!
I use the putter like a driver and smack grapes at your house. :Trollestia: Your present contains the evil alternate universe version of you!
AHHHHH *banish her back to the fanfic dimension where she came from.* (If I don't know that spell I focus all my effort to learn it) no no no I already had to deal with cannibal pony (Sparky). you recieve: a 60% off coupon for a desert from the apple family produce stand, and a ticket for a VIP reserved first in line spot for cider the first day of cider season.
I shed a few manly tears of joy, then go on a spree. Your gift contains a genie lamp, complete with a wish-granting genie!
I make a coffee table out of it. Reach into the cereal box and pull out... A ZIPLOC BAG FULL OF STALE AIR!!!
We shall have great and powerful adventures!!! Under the pretty wrapping paper is... another roll of pretty wrapping paper!!!