Yes, the hormone pills will alter your personality and emotions quite drastically. My second sister (bad blood) took them while I lived with her and my dad for a while. We fought... a lot. She went from being nice and carefree to being a total *****. We almost never got along until she stopped taking them. It was like she was in a bad mood all the time.
Oh, wow. I'm so very sorry to hear that it changed her so drastically. All mine has done so far in the way of negative effects is make me feel hopeless along with sometimes giving me feelings of self-loathing and despondency. I do want to thank you for feeling like you could share that story with us, though; it is very hard to deal with something like that.
Putting many chemicals into your system will Have some effect on you nervous system neurotransmitters in your brain, And with that effect on your thoughts and feelings. Just remember; You're a pretty epic person to chat with. I don't think you can hate yourself for that! @Aynine Ouch. Talk about adverse reaction. She stopped taking them though?
Thank you so much, greyOne. You've been an amazing support and I'm elated to hear that you feel I'm a good person to talk with. :3
I never thought I'd see someone so open about this here, it's refreshing to see such support on this issue. I have "gender confusion" I suppose. Most days, I identify strongly with my male societal role, but other days (or even in segments of the same day) I feel very nurturing and almost motherly at times. I suppose the real word is "sensitive". I've grown up with the most sensitive father in the world who cried with me to Monsters, Inc. (it's a sad movie, shut up...) and turns around to be the head football coach at a local middle school. It's people like him that show me that it's OK to be a sensitive male, but it's the people everywhere else in America that show me that I may need to consider a different lifestyle... I do not cross-dress openly, I have in private and in front of a homosexual partner of mine before (but I'll post my sexuality questions in the appropriate thread). It feels very liberating, like I can be someone that I approve of for once and not my normal, ugly self. I have a hard time differentiating between the possibility of a gender issue or the fact that I have extremely low self esteem and believe that if I'm "pretty", I'll gain approval (because that's what gets approval from me). I know that approval comes from the inside out, but I'm just confused about all of this way too often... Any help, anyone?
Ugly? I really doubt that's the case. I don't think people can be ugly. But the things they can conceive in their minds. That's the source of 'ugly'. It's up to you to decide who you are. Be who you feel you are; Let no one stop you. It's up to you to make your decisions, Be they esthetic or otherwise. Self esteem is not something that always comes naturally. Just be whom you feel like being. The rest will come on it's own accord. And, As a final note; Remember that we're here if you need us. Never judging, Always listening. If you ever need help, Don't hesitate to ask, I'm sure that we all (I hope) would be happy to help.
First of all, you are to be commended for coming forward with your struggles. It sounds like you've had a tough time figuring things out. Next, I have to ask: who do you have for supports? I've found out over the years that I can't make my way through anything without some kind of support from people who care about and love me. I've found great support here at the Everypony community as well as with my boyfriend and gender therapist. It's times like this when we are suffering from confusion that we should rely on our supports; confusion can lead to hurt and even despondency. In closing, I want to say again that you were very brave for coming forward with all this. I wish you the best as you continue to discover yourself and your identity. I am here, as is everyone else, to offer you support on your path down the road of life.
I appreciate it Matty (and greyOne). It's funny that you bring up my "supports", even those who have been with me through everything else seem to run and hide when I bring up that I'm confused about my gender identity. I am very, very open with my parents, who will swear up and down that I've "shown no signs until now", so it's obviously just an obsession (I have OCD, which leads to delusions and thoughts that are blown out of proportion). I've felt this way, off and on, for about 3 years now and it's not going away. As far as who I have to talk to about this, I have a therapist who is very inexperienced in dealing with gender identity issues (but is very well versed in OCD), an ex-boyfriend/quasi-boyfriend who I have yet to really voice any of this with (I cross-dress with him, but that's a bit different), and the one guy who has ever given me any support and is enthusiastic about helping me has an unhealthy crush on me...it's kind of creepy. I'm not sure who to talk to. I live in a small, suburban/rural area where people are bigoted and closed-minded. Even if I did cross-dress in public to try and be myself, I'd run into two problems: 1.) I'd probably get hurt, and 2.) I look nothing like a female and I wouldn't be doing myself any justice. I just get so upset about all of this...It's hard to know who to trust about these things. My best friends just laughed it off, I couldn't be serious...But I am.
Wow, you are certainly in a tough situation. I have to admit, if you've felt like this for a long period of time and it's just not going away, it is probably not related to an obsession. You probably legitimately feel like you need to express your femininity a bit, which is just fine. It's unfortunate that you live in a rough area to do this. I also live in a really bad area, but it's a large area so I'm not in nearly as much danger; I live full-time as a female. You've made a great start by coming here and talking with us. I did the very same thing when I posted this thread here. Any of us would be glad to talk with you and support you. If you want, my IM addresses are in my profile; you can add me if you want to chat with me more. I'll continue to check this thread and reply to it, of course.
I am so happy that I stumbled upon this community today. I requested to add you on MSN, I anticipate our future conversations!
Eh, that sister is a bit estranged, even back then. I don't know any of the details on the medication she took. Anyway, I have no troubles talking about the grand majority of my past. My problems pale in comparison to most. She quit them after a couple of months and apologized for how much of a jerk she'd been. Even my dad couldn't stand her.
The time has come to announce a huge decision I just made. It's been posted to my LiveJournal, but since it involves all of you here, I need to post it here as well: Nobody here will likely be surprised, but I want to say again just how much you've all done for me; I finally feel like I have a home community. :'3
I'm happy we helped; Bronies are almost like family. Looking forward to more posts on you LiveJournal!
Kindness is it's own reward, right? At least; That's what I've been told. And seems to have held true. Helping others is something that I enjoy; Partially because I get to make new friends!
