I brought sporks! Sporks for all! *laughs manically while dancing around and throwing handfuls of sporks out of a sack*
...Tell me, have you had your shots? You're going to need them. *Coughs up some rather perturbing green gas*
...Well, this is awkward again. I can recommend a few good doctors. You might also want a hazmat suit for a few days...or quarantine.