A Shift In Perspective

Well well, if anything's been made clear here, it's that this really is just another forums, just another part of the internet and is an open space. Nonetheless an open space with written and unwritten rules. This is quite different from the idea that this place is to be like a kind of village where more of a commitment would be made to taking care of its members or to create a more safe environment, at least the emotional level. No longer do I consider this to be true but what really bothers me right now is that for the past 20 months, I had gone on believing this to be true, as though the good will of the people on Everypony is what's been keeping me from being picked on despite opening up vulnerably and being open about what has been getting me down.

Here's the thing, in the presence of bullies, you do not let them know what gets under your skin or that you're in a vulnerable state because that's pretty much an invitation for getting bullied. On the internet we call them trolls and I'm sure there have been a few or that there could even be a few among us now. Even when that's left out, how is it that nobody's ever pointed the finger at me telling me it's just some first world problem or something along those lines?

So far I can think of two reasons. One is that I make a pretty formidable adversary in a debate and second is I don't get defensive. I think the latter is more important than the former. Heck, if you have any tendency whatsoever to get defensive past a certain point then even the moderators will be breathing down your neck. Oh and pick your battles carefully. Also very important. Don't take on criticisms that lack substance since you can bet those will lead to arguments that just go in circles. If you find yourself needing to repeat yourself, that's a good red flag indicating that you're not going anywhere.

Heh... This is quite different from what I've been doing. The internet is not a good place to be whole-hearted so don't be taking my example of being open about what's upsetting you for everyone to see. Sure, being vulnerable provides the setting for genuine connections but you're also at greater risk of getting your feelings hurt because doing so means letting your guard down. I'm really lucky to have all these tricks up my sleeve.

The staff can provide some protection against getting picked on but that depends on prone you are to getting defensive. Because if you're someone to get defensive quickly then that means a troll can say or do something that falls below the threshold of enforcement. This is particularly dangerous. If you were to find yourself getting picked on and just somehow you got in trouble for it, that's a pretty good que that you're only going to get torn apart here.

Hope this is something worthy of your thoughts as well as giving you a better image about the internet's unwritten rules. It does change how I would approach people with tendencies that set them up to get torn apart. It may seem like a pony forums but it's still the internet.