A step into my week.

So, this week as been a horrible one...

So, I've decided to make a blog about it.
Uhhh, I hope I don't get banned -_-


(This is just a summary)

So the main stuff started around Tuesaday, when I was added to the Skype Group Chat of my Famiwy... It was pretty good for a bit... Until, out of nowhere (or out of nowhere to me because I hadn't been in contact with the Famiwy so I wasn't sure what was going on) my friend Scarlet broke up with Tanner. These two are very good friends of mine, and I love them to death. Being as it is, I had to help them both. I did my job as I was supposed to, and I did what I was supposed to... Act strong, hold the Famiwy together, while I was dying inside. Let me explain, I've been going to a psychologist for about a year and I've had also been taking many pills... But, I just felt empty inside. I knew I had to be strong because my Famiwy was breaking apart, and after a few days everything started to seem okay. Uh, this is slightly private, but whatever. Me and Tanner had been getting flirty, and it was my drug... I say this because it really affects me later, but I digress. So, as me and Tangent were getting closer I was putting the family back together, and everything seemed perfect. I was helping everyone, and getting helped myself. I didn't feel so bad anymore. Then, the last day of school hit. By now, it seemed that I had a actual chance with Tangent, and all day I was thinking of how I was going to ask him out. When I woke up I talked with him for like 25 minutes and I could tell he was feeling ****ty so I prepared myself. When I got home, we talked... And talked... And talked... And talked, for a few hours. He just seemed to be getting worse, and my mood was dolphin diving. Eventually, I decided that it would be the best time to ask out Tangent because I could tell he was feeling very horrible and I thought that having a very special some pony would help... Problem was, he didn't want me as his special somepony... I admit to freaking out pretty bad, and not being there when I was needed. I came back a bit later, and he was doing horrible. He was on the brink of suicide, so we talked again. I put aside everything that was making me feel like **** and I did all I could to make him feel better. I am glad I did this, because in the end when he attempted suicide it was my words that stopped him... One problem, I was now feeling bad... Very, very bad. I thought Tangent had died and I just... Harmed myself... A bit later he came back, we engulfed him in TLC and then the next day came... Today I had promised to cut back on my pills, so I did that (and felt horrible) I also already felt really bad so make that horriblex2, and then I had to go to two psychologist and then a doctors. So horriblex5. After like 8 hours of doing things, I came back feeling bad once more. I talked with Tangent again, until I learnt that he was with someone... I had another mental break down. (Oh, edit. Yesterday I had a mental break down too, but... Eh.) I came back a bit later, and we talked. For about two hours. But, I couldn't take it. Everything had been pilling up, (and I was sure he was the only person who cared about me at that point...) I logged out and took a knife and pushed it into my arm... I cut down, but I couldn't do it... I threw the knife down, told Tangent that I would be back, and went to talk to my mum and dad. (I had cleaned up the wound the best I could). After a lot of shizz with my mom and dad I now feel even worse... My spirits are slowly going up though... W.e.