I don't really have something to review this time, so instead, I'm going to introduce a new feature to my blog, called Bootleg Showcase, where I show off the weirdest, worst, and funniest bootlegged products ever made.
First, a question needs answered:
What is a bootleg?
A bootleg is a product intended to resemble another, superior product, such as official licensed merchandise or popular electronic devices, and are often imported from developing nations such as China, and are usually then sold in flea markets or on the black market.
With that out of the way, and without further ado, let's begin with a toy with the most hilarious name ever:
Yes, it really is spelled that way on the box. Moving on from the hilarious typo, this is essentially a knockoff of a Zeemon toy from the Gobots line of toys, which, to those who don't know, only existed in the mid-1980s as an attempt by Tonka to cash in on the Transformers craze. This particular toy, however, is apparently intended to be modeled after KITT, the talking car from Knight Rider. Which is strange, because I don't remember the episode where KITT got a paint job resembling a rejected NERF gun. Nor do I remember him trying out for an empty spot on the Autobots.
A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a toy that does not exist.
Speaking of well-known sentient vehicles that have inexplicably become Transformers...
Yes, apparently someone thought it would be a good idea to turn the popular British preschool franchise about sentient trains into freaking Voltron. Not that I'm complaining, because the idea is so patently ridiculous that it becomes awesome. It's as if someone decided to turn Barney the Dinosaur into a kaiju.
I know the Japanese version of Power Rangers has a season where the Zords are trains, but this is ridiculous.
Someone needs to make a fanfic where Thomas and his friends become a combining giant mech to fight a gigantic Barney the Dinosaur, who tries to tear Manhattan a new one.
And with that, we segue into the next bootleg seemingly adapted from a drug-induced fanfiction...
In the center, we have Superman, and Batman to Superman's right. Okay, reasonable so far.
This is so bizarre I don't even know where to begin.
Then, we see Spider-Man to Batman's left. Well, Spider-Man's a Marvel character, and Supes and Bats are from DC, but the two companies have made crossover comics before, so I can forgive this.
To Supes's left, we have the Blue SPD Power Ranger. Well, alright, so still technically a superhero, so we're still in reasonable territory, albeit at the very edge.
And then, we see, to Spidey's right... Shrek? Well, okay, he's at least humanoid, so I let that pass.
To the left of the SPD Blue Ranger... Is that... is that a blue Lightning McQueen? This is the strangest attempt at a superhero team I've ever seen. And of course, the name is in gloriously mistranslated English, as ever.
Also, if you look at the Shrek figure, he's looking a little derped, which brings us to...
...this... thing... apparently modeled after Misty from the original Pokémon anime, in the same way that North Korea is based on democracy. It looks as if someone turned Misty into a lobotomized Cabbage Patch Kid and encased her in hard plastic.
A wild eldritch abomination appeared!
While the Misty figure was probably designed by someone with no knowledge of the character besides what he was told over the phone by some kid who watched the anime, this last bootleg was apparently made by people who have no grasp on non-Chinese culture...
I really don't think I need to explain what's wrong with this one.
ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL
All in all, I think it's safe to say that if you get one of these for Christmas, the person who got it must be either really cheap or really old. Or both.
Regards to @Tyro The Fox for keeping this website running.
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