My Depression and the growing thought of ending it..

For 12 years, I have been clinically depressed, sometimes to the point of attempting self harm.
I thought I got rid of it a little while ago, but all this stress that has been piling up on me, just brings it back.
I just got permabaned fromm MLPForums for no blooming reason what so ever and now... I have that dark and looming feeling that I should just end my miserable life.. I just don't know anymore...