Worst Thing I Have Ever Done
Published by Mister Asmodeus in the blog Asmo's Unsafe Space. Views: 502
So a couple days ago, my aunt was in town for a visit. I should preface this by saying this woman likes to drink. Like, if you've seen me start downing drinks, you know I can outdrink near anyone here, but this woman can outdrink me.
Anyway. After a while, she has me go down to the liquor store to buy her a 12-pack of her favorite beer, Miller Lite. She knocks it out in under a half hour.
She sent me back out to get her a bottle of Jack, which she killed in like an hour and a half. Woman was barely even buzzed. Drinks alcohol like it's water on a daily basis, so I guess it makes sense, but damn, she shouldn't even have a liver left, drinking like that.
This pattern continued for about six more trips, until finally I snapped, "Holy *squee!*, what more do you need?!"
She looked me dead in the eye, stone-faced, and replied, "I need about tree fiddy."
Well, it was about that time I noticed my aunt was about eight stories tall, and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era! God damn Loch Ness Monster got me again!
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