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Soooo I tried on some makeup recently and people said I looked really pretty and cute so it's about time. I deleted the images because I saw them on google images
So some of you may know I closed my forum Cloudsdale Gathering and the themes I had over there will be coming over here so its not completely lost but what I have also done is I re-purposed my webserver for personal use. http://ajewelofrarity.com This is the main page and so far the only page, it is an info page on me but I will expand on it and link to more pages. I'll be using this site for paid services mainly but possibly other stuff. The first thing I really plan to do is work on my graphic design and open myself up to doing graphic design for hire but only small projects. This is only a small update on that :3
Woo it's me the person that can't type coherent sentences... I'm back to ramble on about whatever my mind takes me to So what has been happening, let's start with the more interesting things shall we. I am now helping here on Everypony as Tech staff, this is mostly because of my talent with designing themes but I can do other things such as sticky posts n stuff though I don't think I will have to use things like that often or at least I hope not... I've already designed two themes as of posting this and that is the new Spring theme and FINALLY AN AUTUMN THEME this had bugged for the longest time, Everypony had "Everypony Spring" and "Mikes Spring" and no other season uhhggggg. But I did a fixy on that and now we have another season Soooooo what else... OH I've been watching Viva Reviere's Vivecasts and that is kinda where I got this semi idea on how to write my blogs and that is just think and type, think and type that's all there is to it, don't try and sound like a smarty pants just splash words onto the screen and hope someone finds it interesting to read, Hehe, me, Interesting good one I've finally picked up my 3DS and started playing Kingdom Hearts 3Ds DDD It is shaping out to be my favorite game of the series so far and that is saying a lot because the last favorite was KH2 and that is a tough favorite to beat, no I mean it. When I was younger I got stuck on demyx for weeks and then Xigbar, I was just so terrible at the game back then, the words "DANCE WATER DANCE" shall forever haunt my dreams... Back to DDD, I love playing as Riku, I'm not into guys at all in the slightest but if there is any fictional guy that I have the hots for its Riku...........and well maybe Lea/Axel too >.> but he was born to be hot... So I have gotten a decent way through the game and I am at the world with Donald, Goofy and mickey and I am currently stuck on the boss. OH yea I forgot I got the game pre-owned with a beaten save on it so my game is in the second slot and well Kingdom hearts games aren't a challenge to me anymore but since the game was already beaten, critical mode was unlocked and so I did it and oh my lord I love this, I haven't had a game challenge me like this and still be fun at the same time. SCREENSHOT PROOF: So yea I'm having fun for once and yes I don't have the circle pad pro and I am playing on critical mode, I am also limiting myself hard in game for extra challenge by only using the starter dream eater spirits so yea, I'm crazy. Hmm has anything else happened worth mentioning... NOPE! Thats that, another awfully typed mess with possible grammar errors everywhere See you random readers around.
Sure, lets make this a thing. Not sure if anyone is interested in the life of an anti-social transgender semi-gamer pegasister but alright. So a lot is happening for me recently. So I think I said how I was slowly being more comfortable being feminine in college and how my college changed my records names to Laura instead of my male name. That really opened me up but recently I ordered a GradeAunderA Tshirt online and ordered it under the name Laura, I was out when it arrived so my neighbors got it, needless to say it was the most awkward way for someone to find out I am trans ever. Oh I am also gonna be getting my hair dyed AGAIN. I got it dyed purple before but it's barely noticeable this time I'm gonna get it lighter purple with a scatter of other colors through it ^3^ My Gmod community is dying and so I am deciding to close that because for one it was dying, two no donations to keep it up and three it stressed me out to no end. I'll be keeping the forum up for it but it will from now on be the center of the community and I will be re-branding the community too so for the few of you that know my community PonyTheaters, wave bye bye because it's gonna be gone soon. So my artistic side of me, nothing much has been happening with my art, my old laptop broke and lost all of my data along with so some of my art I was working on was just gone and it sorta killed my motivation to continue on with it so I have hit a brick wall with that. I wish I could have the motivation for it but even if I did my need to constantly switch up what I am doing would only mean I would get 5 mins worth of work and then suddenly I'm playing smash bros and then another 5 mins and I'm playing rocket league and then ANOTHER 5 mins and I'm posting Laura's Update #2 hehe~ I will probably post another one of these once I have gotten my hair done because I may actually do a face reveal (though beware, sometimes when people hear "transgender" they think people have already went through a transition, I am far from that and honestly think I still look very masculine) Oh and butts, always butts~
So recently I have been way more open with being transgender now to the point where its weirder for someone to not know I'm trans hehe~ But currently in college out of nowhere my tutor took me out of class to talk to a lady called Sara about my decision and my transition and she is the head of some equality department in my college and what they are doing for me to make my transition easier to go through is they are changing all my records in the college from my male name (Liam) to me female name (Laura) and the staff are going to refer to me as a female which means so much to me that they would do this for me. They will also be having a trans woman who has been through her own transition and is now fully a woman both mentally and in appearance and she will be talking to my class so my class can get a better understanding of trans women. I am so happy that the college are doing this for me and it made my day better. Later that day I got home and told my mom, now she supports me but she deep down doesnt want me to go through with it but I ended up crying after it. I told her and she gave a sort of "oh.." awnser but a few mins later she asked me for help with her computer and after I finisehd helping she said "thanks laura" that was the first time my mom reffered to me as female and it made my day so much better. I just wanted to share this.
So recently I have been feeling extremely down and not confident in myself, I just want to vent and I have no where to do it so I thought I would make a blog entry. This isn't the best place to come out but if I want to explain stuff I have to, I am transgender MtF I am still currently trying to get help for transitioning but it doesn't seem to be going well anyway. Recently I have been having a lot of depression related to two things, my community and my gender. I will start off with my gender problems, I had gotten out of a bad break up and my ex was pissed off even though she was the one that broke up with me and she started spamming my forum saying that I was "a fake trans" and that I need to stop pretending to be female "to get with people" even though that makes no scene since I am not into guys so me "pretending" to be female wouldn't help me get with anyone, anyway that was the start of what started making me feel depressed, sure the break up hurt a lot and her trying to expose me when I wasn't ready to come out hurt too but then some people from years ago found my forum and tried to say I was "tricking people to be a dick" and that kinda hurt. I just don't like how insensitive people are towards me being trans the guy that found my forum even suspected I might have been trans but instead said he doubted that and thought I was just tricking people and it has been stuck in my head for weeks now and I have beating myself up about it questioning who I really am, am I female or male ect. The second thing is my community, I have two communities I tried to merge and it has been a complete disaster, I purchased a forum software in hopes of making a hub for both of my communities to merge and I made multiple announcements on them both, one is a deviantart group of almost 500 members and the other is a steam group with almost 400 and I feel with the announcements I have made people have just ignored it and my forum has been a failure which has sent me even deeper into depression thinking was it even worth all that time and money I put into making my forum work and look nice. One last thing, I have a college interview tomorrow for an art course and well with all this depression I am doubting myself more and more and I just feel like I wont get in. So that is all, I just really wanted and needed a place to vent, if you read all this thanks for caring about my boring life.
I have been away again I know but for good reason, I purchased a Gmod server using the cinema gamemode and have been working on it for a while. If you would like to join the server IP is " 158.69.131.128:27015 "
Been a while since I've been around on here really. I have been busy and not busy with stuff. For a while I was just being lazy playing some games on my Wii U (super smash bros 4) and I also tried to apply for an art course at my local college around a month back and I was declined so I was kind de-motivated by that and haven't done much art since, I am however working on one last pony Image of Shyra. I don't wanna do any pony related art for a good year or two just because it was all I ever did and it was holding me back from improvement but maybe after a few years have passed I might return and draw some pony stuff. One of my art ideas was to draw Sapphire and Shyra as humans and I still today have this perfect clear image in my head on what it should look like but I struggle to put it to paper. From my time away from here I grew further and further away from the brony fandom to the point of cringing at other bronies with all their awful fanfics and ships but I do at times forget that there is some cool bronies out there and that's why I wanted to return here because I met a bunch of cool non cringy bronies on here. Back on the subject of art I might open a thread called "Jewels draws simple things" I will be applying for college next year in january again but I need to work on my portfolio and I think this would be an awesome way to motivate me to draw some stuff. Even though I have that one perfect image in my head for drawing human Shyra and Sapphire I really struggle coming up with ideas for something simple to draw for practice, when I had a 1 week art tutor all she did was make me draw some cubs and seashells which I will try and scan and show you guys, but what I need is just some ideas for simple things to draw. The thread will probably be like a request thread people would request a simple scenario or something for me to draw and I would try my best to do it and I will post the results and people could rate it I guess (and I will probably upload it even if its a failure and I only draw one line "7.8/10 -IGN line too squiggly") I never really do these blog things but maybe if I do more people will get to know me more and I can make more friends Also sorry for the huge rambling walls of text I have had a lot on my mind to talk about since I left. Oh and my birthday is coming soon again isn't that funny that my last post here was just me talking about my birthday. It is July 2nd for anyone that didn't know~
My birthday is coming on Wednesday/ july 2nd if you don't wish me a happy birthday i will hunt every last member on this site and threaten them with the tightest hug they will ever recieve.
Just thought i'd give a small shoutout to the site in my YTP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plEWp98edZQ
I have a youtube channel, well ive always had a youtube channel but now im actually uploading stuff or at least trying too. Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/user/undecisedtheofficial That is all :3
I just got my Laptop woohoo but all my files were wiped including my wallpapers and i wanna ask you friendly people of everypony to send me new ones, I prefer Luna and Rarity but if its really good i could make an exception, I can take as many as i want since i have my computer scroll through them. also here is my screen resolution (1366 x 768) Thanks :3
