Azeth's blog

Due to an unforeseen issue with my roommate's laptop, my dad has taken it home with him to fix the issues and install new drivers. As of today, till the laptop is back in my roommate's possession, he will be sharing mine with me. I'll still get on but, I'll be less active for a while. I figured to give you guys the heads up now before I pass off the my laptop to my roommate.

Firstly is the changeling queen angle I've been pulling for a while on here. While Chrysalis is enjoyable, she wasn't truly me. Though she is the center piece to how I ended up evolving myself. I ended up making or at least discovering the true changeling me. I now know my true ponysona, I have been kinda open about it. I have found myself as a Changeling Queen named Queen Ayerin. A very kindly queen despite her role and appearance. A outcasted kindness that looks to make friends, not enemies.

I also have alternate sona. This one more focusing on the subconscious psychosis of my being. A Sona that emphasizes my lust for the end of order. A world up in flames and ready to be ruled by the people. This sona has been dormently evolving into Casserane. She started as just a character I made and drew on occasion which evolved with me. Little did I know I ended up making a mirror of my real life self through her. Casserane is one that has accepted not only the enviable decay of the system, but the darkness in her self. Fully willing to unleash the waiting beast inside when her time comes. She has always has a bitter disposition hiding her playfulness and pain. Very rarely showing how she really feels. Keeping a lot about herself a secret and keeping a few friends she makes. I would show these drawings but they are just that. Plus I don't have a scanner, so yeah. This only recently making sense as I thought and meditated on it.

So yeah. There you have it. My true state comes in two forms. Though I dought enough will care to read this, this is what I am in spirit. So I'll leave it at that.

It's weird. I'm happy to have friends on here. I'm even happy to know that people don't mind me and that I've gotten fairly well known on here. But something is still nagging me. I'm bothered with the fact of how I would seem to newer members. We all have been there, being greeted by members that have been on a forum longer than you. They seem a bit imposing, like if you would mess up that they would yell at you...

I feel that way when I greet new members or see them around the forum. Like my presence is one of the few that is imposing to new comers. I guess it's kinda silly but I do worry about these things because I care. I care that new members feel comfy being the same forum as me. That's why I try to be more friendly to newer members whenever I can get a chance. I don't wanna look like someone that is scary to try and talk to. Nor do I wanna come of as one of those high and mighty types that act like new members are peasants compared to them. I hate members like that.

Maybe I am compassionate enough to give new members a chance and see if they are willing to stay. I don't try to shun people, even though my cynical nature will kick in with strangers. I've been trying to make an effort to be nice and show that I care, even to those that have been here longer and around the same level as me. I guess that's how I think with forum communities...

*sigh* I'll be quiet now.