Paradox Requiem, a wip

Alright this is my first ever fanfic, so be gentle, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism. I don't want to be told "Looks good." I'm looking for ways to improve, ideas for plot, what's wrong, how it reads, etc. Let me know what you think and don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, I'll be okay.

This is the story of my avatar in the mlp world, and a few of my friends personified as characters as well. Enjoy.

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Paradox Requiem


Back when I was a colt, I'd always had a fascination with logic. Puzzles and brain work, most importantly of which is magic, were the fuels of my growing up. The story of how I got my cutie mark is thrilling, one might say, but I would just call it a few interesting events. That's the modesty in me showing, but the thinker in me now has to ask: If I admit I'm modest, is it still true?

My name is Paradox Requiem, the name I've been wearing since these events those years ago. I study as a wizard in Canterlot now, climbing the ladder on my way to becoming an Archmage. My journey so far has been exhilerating, and I've made some of the best friends, surprisingly not all of whom are unicorns like myself.

I'll start off with the story of how I met my best friend, way back when, before either of us got our cutie marks. It was the end of the first school day, and I was just leaving the castle on my way home. The journey would take me across the grounds, on other side of which was the dormitories that I was staying. Unfortunately, the magic school was sharing dorms with the flight school, so it wasn't unlikely that a unicorn would get paired with a pegasus.

As fate would have it, I noticed that my roomate had moved in while I was in class, and it was obvious that he was no unicorn. Several posters covered the walls, the Wonderbolts smiling down at me from three directions. One of them sported an approving wink that almost caught my admiration, until my heart nearly leapt itself out of my body.

The door exploded, it must have. Nothing else could have made that loud of a noise. Managing to recover my breath, I turned to see a green coated, silver maned colt of a pegasus standing triumphantly where the door should have been. He blinked twice before looking over to see it laying against my bed.

"Oh... whoops. My bad. Lemme get that."

He hurried over and grabbed the door, attempting to fit it back onto its frame, but it seemed beyond repair. He struggled for a few moments before I found the ability to move. My horn glowed and an arc met the door, lifting it out of his hooves and placing it neatly in the frame. He turned with a curious look, answered by a raised eyebrow and a casual shrug.

"Simple enough," I said.

He smiled and approached me eyeing my up and down.

"You must be M--"

"Requiem. Just call me Requiem."

"Requiem? If you say so."

"You're Zero then?"

"Sure am. Zero Skyflare. Fastest flyer around."

"If you say so," I smirked.

"Just you wait and see. There's not one pony at this flight school who's faster than me."

"I haven't the chance to see the flight school yet. Been busy with my own work."

With that, I lifted a large stack of books from the corner over to the nearby desk, dropping them there with a loud thud.

"Bookworm," Zero said. "Hey, you're pretty good with magic. How come you haven't gotten a cutie mark yet?"

"Everypony here's good with magic. I need to prove myself still, and that's when it should appear. I plan to specialize in a specific school, but there's just so many that I don't know which to choose."

"You lost me."

"It'll come in time. What about you?"

"I need to prove myself. When I win the exam race, I'll prove I'm the best flier, and that's when I'll get my mark." He glanced uncertainly at his flank, which was indeed quite bare.

"And in time that, too, shall come. Until then we can only prepare, right? Practice makes perfect."

"You speak my language, Egghead."

 

Thanks Genesis. Your advice will help out a lot.

While on the surface Zero does sound like Rainbow Dash, as they'll have similar interests, they will turn out to be different ponies. Instead of a goal to be the fastest flier, I'm think maybe the best flier, so maybe a stunt flier. Also Zero's personality will show to be slightly different, more calm, but just as determined to prove himself.

Once I get back to writing I'll put your advice to good use.

 

Here's another segment I've just written out.

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Day two of my classes saw several prospective students drop out. The work of a magician isn't easy, and already we were being weeded of those who just couldn't make it. Those who were cut didn't take it well. It was rough on us colts and fillies, and the disappointment in their faces was hard to look at. I had managed to scrape by, if barely, and I had sworn myself to working hard to make it through.

Leaving class, I bumped into Zero, who was trying out some stunts in the fields between the academic buildings and the dormitories. He looked alright save for a couple trickier parts, and that wasn't putting him in an optimistic mood. Spotting me, he landed and gave a meek nod and sighed.

"If I don't come up with an impressive move by the end of the week's entry exams, I won't be able to move forward in flight school."

"I know how you feel, Zero. I've got to pick a first level spell and perform it for my entry exam."

"But I've seen you do great magic. Just yesterday you fixed the door and magicked your books onto the desk."

"Those are just cantrips, basic magic that any unicorn can learn from some light reading. Once you start getting into these higher level spells, it requires much study and a focused, well rested mind. Some ponies just don't have the brain power for those kinds of spells."

"I think you've got what it takes," Zero assured me.

"Let's hope so. What about you? What are you going to do for your exam?"

"I don't know, I was thinking a run through the flight obstacle course. It's got three difficulty levels, and the first one's easy enough. If I can make it through the third or even second course under par time, that'd be sure to impress the examiners."

"Hm... What's the course look like?"

"It's rough, and the third's got some hazards in it, and you've got to be able to par the second to even be allowed to attempt the third. The thing is though, it's not open for public use, so must of us have to take the test on an unfamiliar course."

"Hm..." Thinking to myself, I wondered if I could help him out. "You know, I could conjure a look-like of those courses that you could practice on. It's be great illusion practice for me, and you could run the courses risk free."

"You could do that?"

"Yeah, it'd be tough, though. An exact look a like is probably above my head, a second level spell most likely. But if I just outlined all the obstacles it would be an easier first level."

"Then it's settled. We'll help each other out then. You can get some practice with your magic, and I can try out these courses."

"Alright I'll start preparing the spells tonight, and tomorrow after our classes we can get to work."


Several days later, as Thursday afternoon made its way into evening, Zero had shattered the second course's par time, and was within seconds of third's. My Lesser Image spell was slowly resembling a more powerful Image spell, which was of the second level. We had our entry exams in the bag, thanks to our great teamwork. I must say, I hadn't imagined working together with a pegasis for a common goal, but it felt good making a friend and even better as I reflected on our progress.


And that's how I met my best friend, Zero. I never saw it coming, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else. We clicked well, and both of us were fascinated by each other's interests. Friday morning began the day both of us would realize our full potential, and the day we would both forever remember as the day our cutie marks appeared on our flanks.

 

Thanks again for the advice, genesis. I'll add some more to these sections once I finish this chapter. Try to view this as only a few pages of perhaps a much longer story.

Tomorrow night I'll add some of their practice together and we'll see how it turns out.